This is for my common app essay. I am thinking either the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you." or "Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. " This is my first post so I would greatly appreciate any comments: what should i leave out, what do i need to add, the overall impression, is it too long? Thank you so much :D
I consider myself a feminist. When I first tell people this the first question I usually get in response is, "What are you fighting for?" I can understand why many might wonder this. Our society today has changed significantly from the years of women's suffrage of the early 1900's. Women are now equal to men in education, the workplace, the domestic sphere, and in fact, increasing numbers of women are surpassing men in the professional fields. Sexism is dead, people say, and feminism is useless.
Recently, as part of a summer program, I visited Morgan Stanley, one of the world's most prestigious investment banks. To ensure professionalism in the workplace, the bank has a very strict dress code of business formal attire for all employees and visitors. Following the rules, I decided on a complete suit with pants, dress shirt, and blazer. Other girls opted for the skirt and blouse ensemble, complete with a casual blazer. The boys were of course in full business suits, a factor that they apparently thought made them better than the girls.
During the visit, as we were dividing into groups and preparing to start a business meeting simulation, one of the guys remarked, "Having girls in our group makes it look little lacking. Look at that group of all guys. The suits, the ties, the dress shoes - they all look so professional and intense. All the girls in their skirts and heels just don't seem to measure up." Other guys who overheard him nodded their agreement. Immediately, my feminist instincts were on guard.
This was indirect sexism, when people make judgments of women based on gender roles and double standards. They may not explicitly say the sexist comments, but in their actions and casual remarks, the prejudice comes through. Our country is built on the idea of equality between races and genders. Yet there are still people out there, young teenage boys who have grown up in a modern world of equality, who believe that men are better than women just because looks. Those boys saw themselves as more capable, more intelligent, and more prepared just because they wore suits. When I wore a suit, suddenly it became a big deal. Suddenly I was trying to be a "man", trying to be better than the rest of them, trying to be part of something that I didn't belong. In addition, I was called scary, intimidating, bossy, and even demanding, traits that would be valued in guys, yet became demeaning when applied to girls.
Those boys also assumed that girls would slow down the group, would get in the way of making important decisions, and would ultimately lead the group to lose money, just because the girls were not in suits. This was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. No girl should be judged on her capability just because of the way she dressed. All the girls that day were on the exact same level as those guys because we knew just as much as they did and we came into that business simulation just as prepared with our research as they were. The way we dressed, whether it was a suit for me or skirts for other girls, had nothing to do with our ability to execute and do our work.
I'm sure, looking back now, those boys weren't even aware of what they said. To them, it was a passing comment, a mere observation based on what they've been taught and seen. Yet one little comment is all it takes to plant a thought in a person's mind, spreading the intolerance farther. One little comment was all it took to remind me that sexism is still very much alive and that I had something left to fight for.
(625 words) is this too long?
All the girls in their skirts and heels just don't seem to measure up.
You know, there is something fundamentally disadvantageous about that. Wearing heels makes you less about to run and fight if necessary, so you just cannot project your personal power in the same way you could if you wore something more appropriate.
Society has us wearing things like shoes and ties.
I guess it is necessary to be completely eccentric in order to break away from all societal expectations. People appreciate eccentrics with special talents.
More and more, I consider myself a feminist, too, even though I am male. I see that the planet is screwed up and society is full of vicious competition and duplicity. Men have been the ones with the political power and influence all over the world throughout history, and they have mucked it up. And the way they mucked it up was by dominating things and depleting them, competing, conquering, and so forth.
Women are not convicted of violent crimes as often as men, because they are more sensible in a way...
The way we dressed, whether it was a suit for me or skirts for other girls, had nothing to do with our ability to execute and do our work.---- I think you can go deeper than this... do not just write about the fact that attire has nothing to do with it; write about your observations, people's apparent perceptions, and other issues related to the situation.
For example, when little boys interact with adults, they are encouraged to be tough, but girls are encouraged to be cute. Then, when they get older and enter a competitive program like yours, people expect them to be less tough and it is because of the way adults tend to treat young girls and young boys differently.
You have good ideas, and you write well!
I can't start to say how much I love your essay topic. A feminist myself, I see this happen too many times. And most often, feminist are the topic of ridicule. Try reeling in the senses: sight (which you have clearly mastered), touch, smell (maybe say smell of cologne from the men), etc.
I'd suggest you pick more appropriate words; "better" is a weak word.
The short, curt sentences have power in your essay.
-Harini
