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Individuality, Notre Dame Supplement


sreekar 4 / 4  
Oct 26, 2008   #1
1. The Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C., President of the University of Notre Dame, said in his Inaugural Address that, "If we are afraid to be different from the world, how can we make a difference in the world?" In what way do you feel you are different from your peers, and how will this shape your contribution to the Notre Dame community?

Here is my response:

University of Notre Dame Supplement

Individuality is an imperative ingredient of success. One mustn't follow the beaten path, but rather pave his own. Like Rev. John I. Jenkins said, in order to make a difference in this world, one has to think for himself and dare to be different. The majority of the advancements and accomplishments that have progressed the world, both technologically and philosophically, have been caused by men and women that were not afraid to be different, not afraid to think and act outside of the norm. If everyone behaves in the same way, the world will remain as it is, lacking the power to continue growing. Thanks to a few individuals who dared to be different from their peers, the world has always been evolving. However, in order to accelerate the rate of progress in today's world, we need more of these individuals. I strive to someday have the essential tools which, combined with my determination to better the world, will enable me to become one of these individuals. Becoming a part of the exceptional community at the University of Notre Dame will bring me substantially closer to that day.

My strongest quality that will enable me to augment the community at Notre Dame is my perspective. My ability to see a unique side of every predicament or incident has resulted from my experiences and has helped me solve many dilemmas. I was born in India and lived there for eight years before immigrating to the United States. Half of my life was spent by me learning, growing, and adapting to the world around me, and suddenly I was forced to start the process over again. I came to America and I had to learn in a different way than before, grow to be a different person, and adapt to an entirely different culture and society. In my first couple of years in this new world, I struggled socially and found myself daily wishing I never had to leave my home. As my years in the United States progressed, I began to notice fewer differences between my old and new homes, and more similarities. I started to appreciate the unique perspective that my experiences had given me. I learned that instead of focusing on the negatives of my circumstances, I needed turn my attention to the advantages that have resulted from them. When I first came to America, I dreaded the fact that I was so "different" from my peers. Slowly, my views changed and today, I am proud of the fact that I am unique. I am still very much attached to my native culture, but enjoy all the parts of American culture as well. My family and I celebrate all the Hindu festivals, talk in Telugu (our native language) at home, and watch Indian movies regularly, and I have no difficulties balancing both worlds in my life.

Winston Churchill once said, "The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." In addition to giving me a chance to be part of two wonderful worlds and enabling me to have a bigger and more eclectic perspective, my experiences have taught me this valuable lesson: no matter how dark and dreary one's perspective is, he must learn to turn around and see the other side of it. This valuable lesson has helped me see the positives in every problem I have been through.

One of the core principles in the university's mission statement is that it focuses greatly on the overall development of its students, both mental and spiritual. This is what separates Notre Dame from the other colleges in the country. My drive to mature as a person and succeed is a perfect complement to my determination to better the world. My unique perspective, coupled with my enthusiasm to help my peers, is what will make me a valuable addition to the University of Notre Dame.

Please critique my essay. Thank a lot!
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 26, 2008   #2
Good morning.

This is a very good essay. You do a great job explaining what makes you different from your peers, but not much time explaining how this will shape your contribution to the Notre Dame community. You could add on another paragraph explaining how you think your perspective will contribute and change the campus, or you can work it into the existing sections. Either way, this addition will make your response more appropriate, as well as much stronger. Good job.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
bananazzz 1 / 4  
Dec 30, 2008   #3
I think your essay is organized well but like Gloria said, try to involve your perspective with how you will contribute to the Notre Dame community


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