I had always been infatuated with animated cartoon shows - USC Cinematic Arts Personal Statement

The Cinematic Arts personal statement should reflect the applicant's individuality and explain why he or she would like to study animation and digital arts at USC. The Animation Admission Committee will review this statement as a measure of the applicant's creativity, intelligence, self-awareness, determination and vision. The statement should be a page and a half, and it should give the committee a sense of the applicant's long-term goals and artistic ambitions.

Requested Feedback:
1. Does my essay properly answer the prompt?
2. Are there any grammatical errors?
3. Any other general advice?

ps. The prompt says that the statement should be a page and a half, but I'm not entirely sure if they meant that with double spacing or not, because that would dramatically influence the word count. I wrote my essay double spaced, but if anyone knows the answer to this, I would deeply appreciate it!

USC SCA Personal Statement

Initially, I had always been infatuated with animated cartoon shows, like any other kid. I drew sketches of original characters with eyes as big as half of their faces, and made up cliche story plots that could make anyone cringe unbearably. I had not taken anything seriously; however, my interest in art had soon been hugely elevated after being introduced to online art communities, where I had the fateful encounter with "Role-playing groups". There, I designed my own characters, created their backstories, interacted with other artists, and developed character relationships; for me, that was an escape route from my mundane life, and the beginning of my genuine passion for art and story making.

Beginning with my artistic focuses, one thing I will never budge on, is the importance of foundation skills. To me, the journey to being an artist is like constructing a building. Without the proper basis, no matter how grand the building is, it might crumble down with a single push. Fundamental aspects of art such as structure and color value are what help support and portray my concepts more effectively to my audience. And while I had previously established that story-making is what drove me to become an artist, I stand firm that technical and conceptual skills stand side by side and one should not be sacrificed for the other. Elaborating on this topic, story is undoubtedly something that has no limit. While your technical skills may have reached perhaps photo realism, your concepts shows no bound in growth. Throughout the years, my ideas have certainly changed, and certainly more change is to come, because we never stop accumulating life experiences. I'd like to point out that I am extremely interested in sociology, history and politics, all of which I believe, accurately display our world in the most realistic way possible. A lot of my art work revolves around my thoughts, my world and generally the mentality of a problematic emo teenager. What I want is to display these not so light hearted topics into forms of story and bring them to the big screen with a unique, dark, yet beautiful aesthetic and share them with the world.

While I am moderately confident in my artistic skills, I will never deny that there is room for improvement, both technically and conceptually. Outside of my academic life, I have been consistently taking art classes instructed by college professional, and attending weekly workshops in art galleries. Short term wise, I not only aim to take a step ahead in fundamental art skills from the understanding of human anatomy to the use of perspective, but I am also constantly undergoing research on different animations and communicating with many of my instructors who happen to be professionals in the industry. Artistically, I have almost always been stylistically ambiguous, because I have yet to find an artistic approach unique solely to me, instead I find myself easily moldable to whatever is in demand. And although being open to different styles is definitely not a bad thing, I strive to find my signature look in the long term by researching works from my inspirations, some of which happen to be James Jean, Kevin Dart, Scott Watanabe and many more to come. Conclusively, whether it be short term or long term, these goals are all stepping stones towards my dream of becoming a contributing individual to the animation industry. From a visual development artist to an arts director, there is a wide range of careers that I inspire and hope to achieve, all of which I believe favorably represents my passion for both art, storytelling, and leaves space for creative development.

Seen from popular feature films from animation studios, I think it is more than obvious that 3D animations have grown to become more conventional on the big screen. And although I will not argue that computer generated graphics can be a great medium, as shown by their growing popularity, I do not think traditional 2D animation should be completely abandoned in the field of feature films. Instead, I believe that the mixture of the two would bring modern animation to its next stage. A clear hybrid of the two styles can be seen from the short films "Paperman" and "Feast" from the Disney animation studio. It not only shows the realistic movements of CGI but also the traditional artsmanship of 2D animation. Yet, although these shorts have received widespread praise, I have not seen this hybrid method applied to television shows or cinematic films. Because of this, I would like to suggest expansion to this new territory and carry this innovation to the big screen, and renew the 2D animation world.

The School of Cinematic Arts of USC has long been my first school of choice, not only for its industrial connections, for it's latest technology that supports the breakthrough of each individual student but most importantly for it's creative environment. As a student who values academic excellence on equal grounds with artistic merits, I believe all forms of knowledge and education is indirectly connected to the process of art making. Not only that but I'm extremely fond of the gallery of student works on the Animation & Digital Arts website where I realize that unlike many art schools which produce students almost like cookie cutters, SCA is different. I am more than delighted to see that the School of Cinematic Arts provides a portal for the unique voice of each individual and that is exactly what I need to pursue my artistic ambitions .

Mia, I think that you need to rethink the third paragraph that you wrote. It seems to portray a belief system rather than a personal reason for wanting to study animation and digital arts as USC. You should aim to personalize the paragraph by somehow connecting it to your choice of university. At the moment, you are depicting a mindset that is all your own, separate from the reason why USC can help you achieve this belief of yours. Your closing paragraph really fits in the overall context of the prompt so you don't have to worry about that portion. It works for the purposes of your essay. Now, for the page and a half, the normal spacing for that is double unless otherwise stated. If you wish to be sure, please contact the admissions office of USC to confirm the line spacing for the essay. Most of the offices have people who can assist you with such inquiries.

@Holt
Thank you so much for the feedback, I will definitely change the last paragraph!
Aside from the third paragraph, does the general essay fit the prompt? Also, are there any grammatical errors?

Mia, upon further review of your essay, I believe that you should find a way to highlight your career goals in the essay. I feel that you have not really properly touched on that topic within your current written work. You should try to deliver at least a full paragraph for your short term goals and then another paragraph at least, for the long term goals. Right now, cutting out the third paragraph, what is clear in your essay is that you are determined to achieve your goals. I would want to read more abut your artistic ambitions towards the end of the paper though. Say something about how you (might) be dreaming of developing cutting edge technology or designs that could bring a new avenue to the presentation of animation and digital arts while you are a student at USC. Those additions should help to make your paper more responsive and offer a unique prospect of you as a potential student at USC.

Mia, I hope you will not be angry at me for making the following suggestion. Use the closing paragraph that you have now as your opening statement. It is a truly strong and informative paragraph that more than summarizes the responses you have to the questions posed by the prompt. If the reviewer fails to read your whole essay for some reason, the mere reading of this opening statement will already tell him all that he needs to know. Don't waste that sentiment and information by saving it for the last part of the essay. Make use of it where it can be most effective for your application, at the start of the essay.

My idea, for the revision of your essay is to make it seem more personal and less technical. If you bring up your closing statement to the opening paragraph, you immediately create that personal interest that is all too important in these sorts of essays. From there, I suggest that you omit the current second paragraph because you are saying the same thing in the current 3rd paragraph, but in a softer and more personal tone. By removing the redundancy in statements, you further enhance the personal connection of your response to the prompt.

You might need to develop a new closing statement in order to tie up the discussion. I believe that your essay will come across as stronger if we follow this new format for your paper. I can help you develop a new closing statement if need be.

@Holt
I deeply appreciate your response and think your suggestion is very reasonable. After re reading the essay I think the new format is much better. Concerning the new closing statement, would it just be a summary of the essay/restating the opening paragraph?

In most regular essays, the closing statement is approached as a recap of the whole essay. A summary if you will, because you want to remind the reviewer of the important points you made about the prompt in the end. However, in the case of a personal statement, you can go in the opposite direction. If you want to add some important information to the concluding statement, which will not need to be fully developed in the explanation phase, then you can add that information there. The concluding statement needs to end the essay on a strong note and offer a memorable closing argument for your application. What information it will present, it all up to you as the writer of the essay. I can help you assess the quality of your new concluding statement if you would like me to. I can read the new conclusion when you upload your revised essay.

@Holt
I revised the essay and added the closing statement (i actually took it from the previously omitted second paragraphs and made some alterations). I would love to hear your assessment :)

USC SCA Personal Statement

The School of Cinematic Arts of USC has long been my first school of choice, not only for its industrial connections, for it's latest technology that supports the breakthrough of each individual student but most importantly for it's creative environment. As a student who values academic excellence on equal grounds with artistic merits, I believe all forms of knowledge and education is indirectly connected to the process of art making. Not only that but I'm extremely fond of the gallery of student works on the Animation & Digital Arts website where I realize that unlike many art schools which produce students almost like cookie cutters, SCA is different. I am more than delighted to see that the School of Cinematic Arts provides a portal for the unique voice of each individual and that is exactly what I need to pursue my artistic ambitions .

Initially, I had always been infatuated with animated cartoon shows, like any other kid. I drew sketches of original characters with eyes as big as half of their faces, and made up cliche story plots that could make anyone cringe unbearably. I had not taken anything seriously; however, my interest in art had soon been hugely elevated after being introduced to online art communities, where I had the fateful encounter with "Role-playing groups". There, I designed my own characters, created their backstories, interacted with other artists, and developed character relationships; for me, that was an escape route from my mundane life, and the beginning of my genuine passion for art and story making.

While I am moderately confident in my artistic skills, I will ...

Seen from popular feature films from animation studios, I think ...

Throughout the years, my ideas have certainly changed, and because we never stop accumulating life experiences, certainly more change is to come. As a constantly changing individual, I'd like to point out that I am extremely interested in sociology, history and politics, all of which I believe, accurately display our world changing in the most realistic way possible. Relatively, my work revolves around my thoughts wrapped around my altering self and this altering reality. I aspire to display these not so light hearted topics into forms of story and bring them to the big screen with a unique, dark, yet beautiful aesthetic and share them with the world.

Hi Mia, your essay is perfect content-wise as of this moment. Now you just have to proof read the essay for grammar and punctuation. Or some parts that can still be edited in order to further shorten the essay in an informative manner. For example, in the second paragraph, you can remove the first word "Initially" because you are already saying that you were fascinated by anime at an early age. There is a redundancy of sorts in that sentence and the removal of the opening word helps to fix that problem.

The same can be said for the term "short term wise" as it doesn't make sense to discuss developing your skills "short term" skill development is always something that happens over the long term. Long after you graduate from school, long after you have completed your masters studies. Your technique is something that will constantly develop for as long as you are working in this field.

I believe that once you address these simple edits, the essay will officially be ready to use. Good luck with your application !

Hello, let me give you my correction

...,one thing I will never budge on,...I think this is opposite, and it means no verb in here

A lot of my art worksbecause it in plural form

sociology, history and politicspolitic because in the singular form light hearted light-hearted

thank you