1. How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
I have had the good fortune to be raised by two amazing parents who have instilled in me morals and inspirations to last a lifetime. My father has been a mechanic and an auto broker for his entire career, which is what has initially inspired me to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering. My mother works for our local church, St. Philips Episcopal Church, which has always kept me busy with volunteer work around the city of Miami. Having these two amazing parents to guide and support me through out my life has no doubt shaped and molded me into the person I am today. My father always taught me to work hard, but to not let work become my only defining characteristic. My mother constantly reminds me to never judge too harshly or too quickly. These are only two examples of the constant lessons they teach me that I know will help me achieve amazing success in my professional career and personal life. Not only do they teach me through spoken word, but also through example. Everyday I witness my parent's humility, integrity, compassion, and respect. I can think of no better role models in the world and I aspire to be as amazing as they are every day.
2. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that will allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
Everyday I aim to model the morals my parents have instilled in me. That being said, I'm sure that these lessons will shine through in everything I plan to accomplish at UCF. I will take part in many of the extracurriculars offered at UCF to try and lend my talents to others while also giving myself the opportunity to lead by example and hopefully inspire my schoolmates to be the best they can be. Hopefully I will be able to achieve leadership statuses wherever I can because I know I have qualities that would be able to help any organization become better. Through my previous volunteer works, it is clear to see that I care about my community. What better way to help give back to my community than through leadership positions where I can lead by example? Finally, was I to be accepted, I would strive to preserve the great UCF name in everything I do. As I always aim for excellence, I know I would make UCF proud. I would be honored to continue my education at such a fine university.
First essay:
"through out"- throughout
Try looking over your tenses "my father taught" and "my mother constantly reminds" are in two different tenses
"amazing success"- in my opinion (and only in my personal opinion) it seems too... big. It hints that you have really really big dreams that may or may not be able to come true? Not sure if that makes sense to you (and sorry if I've insulted you), but I would just stick with "success"
Second essay:
There are usually two main approaches to this question, the first one would be to build on top of your previous answer so as to create a more in depth image of yourself in a certain area and the second one would be to focus on something completely different so as to create a more well rounded image of yourself. Either option has its strengths and limitations, however, I think that you've already demonstrated your character adequately in the first essay. I'm suggesting you focus on something else for the second one; what's a passion that you want to bring to UCF? what's another admirable quality that you have (confidence? leadership? etc)
Of course, this is only my input, so don't ponder too much on it. If you don't agree with what I say, or don't understand what I'm talking about, just ignore it as it's probably just my brain that's working weirdly again.
Other than that, good job on your essays, work hard, and good luck!
I have had the good fortune to be raised by two amazing parents who have instilled in me morals and inspirations to last a lifetime.
I am very fortunate to have been raised by two amazing parents who inculcated good morals and values in me while being the best inspiration for my life.My father has been a mechanic and an auto broker for his entire career, which is what has initially inspired me to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering. My mother works for our local church, St. Philips Episcopal Church, which has always kept me busy with volunteer work around the city of Miami.
My father, a mechanic and an auto broker, had been the main reason for the advent of my passion for mechanical engineering. My mother who works for our local church was instrumental in nurturing my love for volunteer work.