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Essay on the influence of my family and environment and how it has shaped me as a person

Harden2001 1 / -  
Jul 27, 2018   #1

The legacy of my family, friends, community, and school

There's an old adage that "sometimes in life it just takes the influence of one person to see yourself in a completely different light." Although there are many influences in my life, one person stands out: my grandfather. Over the years, I have spent many hours listening to his words of wisdom, stories from "back-in-the-day", and ethical ways which have influenced me deeply. My grandfather always said that I was an "old soul" trapped in a young person's body. He said the empathy, warmth and understanding that I had towards others is something that could not be taught, but rather is buried deep in my soul. So, as you can imagine, when I was told that he had stage four pancreatic cancer, I was devastated. My grandfather passed away exactly 28 days after his diagnosis. I always heard the phrase that "you can will yourself to do anything", but I never thought it was true. He did, I watched him decline both mentally and physically everyday! My grandfather's passing made me realize that life can be taken away in a moment. He told me that we are only here for a short time, so we need to make the best choices, strive to meet our goals, and change the world one day at a time, all while doing it with a smile.

My family struggled for quite a while with my grandfather's loss; he was our patriarch, and his presence had a strong influence on us all. We are fortunate enough to be a strong and close-knit family, and that got us through this incredibly trying time in our lives. My mother and father also have taught me to be an ethical person, always do the right thing, and follow my instincts. My brother has a lot of the qualities my grandfather possessed. He has been attending Blinn for the past two years and will now be attending Texas A&M this fall. He has taken me under his wing since my grandfather's death, which has helped ease the pain. We have gone to numerous Aggie football and basketball games as well as a few shows with current A&M students over the last couple of years. Our time together in College Station has brought us even closer.

I have become a well-rounded and cultured person thanks to my family, friends, community, and school. I have a diverse group of friends that have taught me about their cultures, coping with learning disabilities, and self-awareness. My family has given me endless opportunities and unlimited boundaries to be the person I am and the person I want to become. My grandfather's legacy of his insatiable thirst for knowledge, strong-willed personality, and ethical beliefs will live on through me for generations to come.
Cindylaura236 - / 1  
Jul 28, 2018   #2
Hello @harden2001, i'm suggest to you for changes a sentences "............. to be the person I am and the person I want to become."
Because i think that is weird or will understanding about who's reading your essay.
And i think will be better essay if you changes with this sentences "to became the person who my pleasure". Thank you 😊
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,416 4393  
Jul 28, 2018   #3
Nicole, by the time I finished reading this essay, I had learned so much about your grandfather and his omnipresence in your life. I learned very little about you in the process. Sure your grandfather was a driving force and influence in your life. However, I am not interested in his life story. As the reviewer, I am more interested in getting to know who you are because of his influence. There is very little reference to that in this essay.

You could revise the content of the essay to first, discuss who you are today. What would make you say that the person you are today is the result of the influence of your family, friends, community, and school? Actually, based on the prompt requirement, you can choose only one of these aspects to discuss. I believe that focusing on the true influencing factor in your development would help you write an essay that truly focuses on you as a person and how you came to be. If this means focusing on the influence of your grandfather, then so be it. Just make sure to discuss YOU instead of HIM instead since YOU are the focus of this essay.

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