As I flip through my albums, I realize how much I have grown over the years, not only physically, but mentally. I believe that the biggest influence in a person's life that determines an individual's personalities and qualities is the environment in which they live in, whether it is from the good, or the bad. I would like to consider myself lucky, coming from a good environment that has led my life into a positive direction.
Ever since I began preschool at age four, I found myself ethnically as a minority at a school which was already populated by minorities. Being one of the few Asians in my neighborhood and school, I had days where I felt out of place. I definitely faced racial problems, such as name calling, on a weekly basis. However, that did not stop me from pursuing a good education at my school. Even through the racial problems, I was glad to have the opportunity to see how those from different ethnicities lived and how different they were from my own lifestyle.
My parents both being Japanese, they stressed the importance of learning the language and the culture. Of course as a young child, I hated going to school, especially on a Saturday just to learn Japanese. However, now as a high school student, I am thankful that my parents made me go. Not only was I able to get high school credit for Japanese, I found it very helpful when I visited Japan and had the opportunity to use the skills that I learned in the 13 years of Japanese school.
Even though my mother was Japanese, she was born and raised in Paraguay, so I had the opportunity to experience another culture besides Japanese. My family in South America had a completely different lifestyle than what I was used to, and everyday was a new experience. Living in a rural area was not so bad, having the opportunity to appreciate the clean air and the beautiful night skies that can not be seen in the city. It also helped me appreciate the little things in life that I took for granted back in the United States.
I believe the one event that changed my life the most was the death of my mother. Watching my mother fight against cancer since I was 6, I felt that if I was going to learn things, the most important lessons would come from her, maybe not academic lessons, but life lessons. There were many times when our opinions would collide, but now I realize why she said the things she said. Her existence in my life left me more organized, mature, and self-reliant. Still being young, I wanted to be spoiled by my parents, but I knew that I shouldn't be doing that, especially at a time when my mother was ill. It was painful to see her go when I was only 11, but the lessons I learned from her will definitely stay with me forever.
High school was a great challenge for me. In the beginning, I felt insecure about attending a high school with a bad reputation, but now I am glad I attended Pioneer High School. As a matter of fact, my high school provided me with challenging classes and excellent teachers that prepared me for college. Of course there were moments when I felt like dropping the classes, but I worked hard and passed them. Working everyday after school as a tutor, being a part of my schools Drill Team, participating in club activities, and being enrolled in honors and AP classes took up a lot of my time, but my dedication and organization allowed me to be successful so far in school while participating in extracurricular activities. I am positive that the qualities I gained will lead me to success even through college and beyond.
What are your dreams and aspirations? I don't see anything about that. Your prompt 1 should be a balance between your world and your dreams.
The paragraph you wrote about your mom passing away doesn't seem to fit in. It seems like you just threw it in there for a sob story. You should either focus on being a minority or your mom passing away.
You don't have to describe your school and your family. The prompt says describe your family, school OR community. It says or for a reason.
Think about what your dreams are and then pick which part of your world you would like to write about. Relate your world to what you want to do.
"I believe that the biggest influence in a person's life that determines an individual's personality and qualities is the environment in which they live in, whether it is from the good, or the bad."
I don't think that it makes sense to say that the environment is what determines an individual's personality and qualities but rather just helps shapes or impacts them in some sort. Also, try to stay away from using words like good and bad because they are too common and overused.
Keep going with what you have, but focus only on one thing. You have a limited amount of words to write about something that your application does not already say. Use your words wisely.
Check my essay out? Thanks :)
Regards,
Jamie
