Hi! I'm applying as an international student to UIC and I really need a help on an essay about why am I choosing this major/minor. I read this essay a few times and it sounds bad in my head.. Thanks for help.
Why Information and Decision Sciences?
From an early age, I have been ardent about new technologies. It's all begun with my grandfather's occupation - he's an electrician. Since I was little he had made me very interested in a technology. I remember being 4 years old and watching him working on a circuit board; it always had my admiration. Later that year I wrote a letter to my aunt who lived in United States asking for a Tamagotchi toy that I really wanted and couldn't get in Poland. When i finally got it, it was my first touch with a latest technology and got me very excited. Moreover, the toy was constantly in use what probably explains why that it broke after a few weeks.
My grandpa was also the person that gave me my first PC when I was 7. As the time came by, my PC's hardware got old and it needed to be replaced. I found a PC that I wanted but unfortunately it was too expensive. My mom and grandpa agreed to help me pay half of a price, but I still had to figure out how to make almost $150 as 10 years old girl. Fortunately, that was a time when friendship bracelets were very trendy at my school. Everyone has been buying embroidery floss at a craft shop just next to our school and the vendor almost doubled the price of it. As my mom had owned a shoe shop, she had an access to a wholesale shop. She offered to lend me money for a few packs of embroidery floss which I sold to my friends with almost 100% profit. Within a few weeks I gave my mom back the borrowed money and I earned almost $150 from my little business! The next day we went to get my dream PC. Years later, when picking a high school, I decided to choose a school that was one year longer than an usual high school and more intense. Alongside my high school diploma I got an Associate's degree in Communication and Information Technology. I found Information and Decision Sciences to be the perfect choice for me that would provide me with a lot of job opportunities and also connect the fields of interest I like the most - IT and economy.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Zuzzana, what you have here is a very badly developed personal statement that does not relate in any way to the question that the prompt has posed before you. The question is about your choice of major/minor at UIC. I do not know how you got the idea that you should tell a story about what happened to you when you were 4 years old or asking your aunt for a Tamagotchi toy was the right response to this question. Let me see if I can explain the prompt expectations to you below.
The Information and Decision Science major is a course of study that would be of high interest to someone who has a great interest in two fields of study, computers and business management. Why is that? The course focuses, specially at UIC, on Information systems, operations, supply chain management, and business data analytics. Therefore, you should only be applying for this major if you have an interest in becoming a 21st century business person. From what I have read of your original response, it seems that you did not do any research regarding your chosen major. Can you tell me why you chose to apply for this major? Maybe there is something that you did not properly reflect in your essay which is why the essay that you wrote became inapplicable to the prompt.
@zuzzaa02
Hi, Zuzanna!
I agree with @Holt.
I think you might miss the point here. According to your essay, maybe only the last 2 sentences remind me that you are applying for information and decision sciences. And the rest of the essay is not so relevant to the question. Though I don't know much about this major, I do know that when the university asks you why you are choosing this major, not only do you need to answer why you like this major, but also you should mention why you choose to study it in this specific university,( is it the field you want to major in particularly strong in this university...) Just tell the school why you think this is the right place for you to pursue you dream.
Best Luck!
