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Undergraduate   Posts: 2

Information form (AIF) - University of Waterloo - Reasons/interest/goals


Moomin  
Jan 17, 2018   #1
I must submit my information form and I wanted someone to review it before, provide me with ways to improve it maybe or flaws to correct. English is not my first language, so I have some difficulties.

Reasons for choosing your program and Waterloo


Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the
University of Waterloo.

(900 character limit)

I spent most of my childhood in African countries, my parents were travel enthusiasts and so we were often in forest lodges or safari resorts, I quickly grew fond of nature and wildlife. Aware of existing environmental issues, I decided to protect and preserve them. I wish to study in the environmental field and become an environmental consultant because conservation through regulation is beneficial for the planet and humankind as a whole. I have applied to Waterloo's environmental program because of it broadness, with focus on nature as well as social sciences which I think is necessary for me to become an effective and versatile specialist.I believe The University of Waterloo is where I can reach my goal, first of all, because of its co-op program which will provide me with work experience related to my studies but also because of its dedicated and involved environmental faculty. (895 characters)

Holt [Contributor] 1602  
Jan 18, 2018   #2
Jelany, when the statement is this limited in character count, the reviewer expects you to deliver the direct responses in just a few sentences. It will be beneficial to your essay if you remove all of the filler sentences that don't bring the attention of the reviewer directly to the point. I strongly advise you to remove the first 2 sentences. Then you should edit the rest of the essay to connect in the following manner:

I have applied to Waterloo's environmental program because of its focus on nature as well as social sciences ...The University of Waterloo is where I can reach my goal because of its... related to my studies.

The shorter and more direct your response, the more appreciative the reviewer will be of your response and the better your chances of having him remember your response long after he has read it. All of the information I had removed from the response can be placed in other common app prompts where applicable.


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