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'innate curiosity of mine' NC State statement about major choice


sokomov 1 / 2  
Jan 8, 2014   #1
Describe the reasons you have chosen to enter the major that you selected previously in this application (Physics). NC state

I believe i have a good premise but am not sure if it is what they are looking for. I also struggle with punctuation.

When I was a little kid I always got into trouble for taking apart all of household electronics and tools; my father would ask me why I had done so, and the answer was always a simple "I wanted to see how it worked." This innate curiosity of mine has continued to grow and become increasingly never ending. Physics has provided an outlet and facilitator of my curiosity by allowing me to learn the inner workings of things as well as giving rise to new questions.
Kristoria 3 / 51 1  
Jan 8, 2014   #2
all of the/my household electronics and tools

and probably end with a period after tools. I have an understanding of what you are trying to convey so go right ahead and use it. I think its good to start the essay with the origins of why you became interested in physics and then develop it from there, eg. you started fixing things around the house, you started reading about the lives of famous physicists, etc.
OP sokomov 1 / 2  
Jan 8, 2014   #3
I edited it to this

When I was younger, I always got into trouble for taking apart all of our belongings. My Dad would always ask me, "Why!" I always answered this pointed question simply. "I just wanted to see how it worked..." My innate curiosity has continued to grow and has become ever present in my daily approach to problem solving. Physics has become a facilitator for my curiosity, giving rise to new questions, and allowing me to learn about the forces of the universe that make everything in existence "work".

It is right at the 500 character limit so if you think anything major should be added i will probably have to rewrite it. Which I am not opposed to doing.
Kristoria 3 / 51 1  
Jan 9, 2014   #4
You could try one with the major and you can compare both or post it here and let others give an outside opinion on which one is better or has more potential to be a better essay.
knsimmons13 1 / 3  
Jan 9, 2014   #5
I think that you have a good start and I like your brief anecdote. I think that "belongings" is less descriptive than "household electronics and tools" and think you could put "electronics and household items" or something to that extent. Also, maybe try to take always out of the first and second sentence and just use it in one and use a different word. Just some suggestions! I think you have a great idea overall!
OP sokomov 1 / 2  
Jan 9, 2014   #6
I took out household tools and electronics in order to save space as this is exactly 500 characters. Is there anything y'all would suggest removing or changing in order to change that always and give some parts more description


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