In an essay of 300 words or fewer (approximately 1950 characters with spaces), write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond. Your answer will be evaluated for content and writing style.
I feel as if some of the information is arbitrary to the question. I'm applying for Engineering as my first choice at Queen's as well as their Arts program. If anyone can give me suggestions on how to strengthen some points, it would be greatly appreciated! I am all open for constructive criticism. Thank you!
From a young age, inquiry and knowledge have always guided me into taking on new challenges as well as achieving goals I set for myself. At Queen's University, I will expand upon these skills further in my academic and extracurricular activities. I've always felt a personal connection with Queen's, having been raised in Kingston myself. Whether it was driving through driving through Downtown Kingston, or studying at Joseph S. Stauffer library, I've always felt embodied in the Queen's environment. Studying at such a prestigious institution will help develop my character being part of such a diverse student body, a welcoming community, and renowned education program. I envision myself pursuing studies in the Engineering and Applied Science program, further reaching my goal of investigating the world and learning of it's physical properties. In particular, the Integrated Learning Centre has always attracted me to Queen's, providing opportunities to work and collaborate successfully with my peers in a creative and intuitive environment. Alongside my fellow students, I will exercise teamwork and commutative strategies to continue developing my learning abilities, even outside of the program. My passion for the Arts program as well will help atone my artistic and musical talents, furthermore fuelling my ambition as a student of Queen's University. While given the enormous opportunities at Queen's, I will progress my creative talents as a student joining clubs, participating in student governments, and showing school spirit all around. After graduating from Queen's University, I will focus my prospects into further applications of engineering through the academic and social skills I had developed to continue my career as an engineer. I hope through earning my undergraduate degree at this institution will fulfill my lifelong goal: to create something to benefit society, to which I will be accredited and recognized for.
"At Queen's University, I will expand upon these skills further inwith the help of my academic and extracurricular activities."
"Whether it was driving through driving through Downtown Kingston, or studying at Joseph S. Stauffer library- I've always felt embodied in the Queen's environment."
"In particular, the Integrated Learning Centre has always attracted me to Queen's, providing opportunities to work and collaborate successfully with my peers in a creative and intuitive environment. "
This is basically what the centre can do for you rather than your personal goals.
"My passion for the Arts program as well will also help atone my artistic and musical talents..."
"...and showing demonstrating school spirit all around "
"After graduating from Queen's University, I will focus my prospects into further applications of engineering through the academic and social skills I had developed to continue my career as an engineer."
This sentence should be reworded. I feel like the bit about your academic and social skills sounds repetitive and isn't really necessary.
