Question is: Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you? Please people comment and critique.
Student council at school played a significant role in shaping my life. I was part of it since I joined my high school. It was the time when I was quite naďve, shy and unwilling to participate in different activities. My first responsibility came in a form of a class prefect. My duty was to lead the class during teacher's absence, marking attendances and make sure every student maintains a code of conduct. Novice me, use to get nervous at times, afraid to meet new people and afraid to apply myself. Half way through my first year in student council, head of the council came up to me and asked the reason of my reticence. I had no answer. This was a moment of a new beginning. I became angry and decided to change. I started to participate in activities, assisted my seniors in getting things done, lead my class students confidently and this time there was no distress. I realized I loved this and wanted to pursue these activities more actively. [...]
When I looked up in the dictionary for the meaning of leadership; it said it was the capacity to lead and the state of being a leader. Striving to discover more about leadership, pondering for hours, I discovered from my very own calculator. A calculator can sum up everything together to come up with the most appropriate answer...very strange analogy here ; it can delete unnecessary things and can only include what is important. These are all the qualities leader has to have. Leader has to add up all of the things to come up with the best possible plan which is suitable to everybody, Leadershave tomust know how to distinguish between good and bad.
If we observe closely how an insect leads its way to find food and how it deals with all the situations and difficulties, and never gives up. This is what I am now, someone who will try and try again till I will achieve. Leadership is more than what dictionary says it is. I understood that I just don't have to sit back and just watch the event happening, I have to jump in and be involved.
When I first joined student council in my first year of school, I did not have these qualities because I was never put into a situation where I had to lead, I was too reserved to try and when I tried I learned I could succeed in this. I was never able to figure out that leadership was not just about taking control of a group and telling everyone what to do. In the beginning, I thought leadership was this, there I went wrong. A leader is about being yourself and never letting anyone change you. Only when I expanded my comfort zone I realized that leadership was a far more thing than I thoughtmore than just a badge or certificate, but a personality. .
You use alot of words without knowing their meaning and thus use them incorrectly. From being a class prefect you suddenly jump into doing alot of activities. I think you can include all of this, but rearrange the entire structure of the essay. Here's my opinion:
A) talk about what you were before; inexperienced, unfamiliar with things. As a Prefect you were lost, etc etc.
B) THEN, you got help from the head of council, who made you realize that you should change, and so you did
C) then TALK about how you changed, not describe what qualities a leader should have, but how YOU, became a leader.
however, I do like the content; you have the idea right but you are not expressing it correctly.(don't keep repeating: "leader should this or that")
Good luck.
Hello, Nausica. Thanks alot for your opinions and corrections. It really helped me alot. Yes, you're right, rather than explaining leadership I should talk about what I learned. Yes, I kinda lack in english vocabulary. It is not my first language, here the problem lies.
Please also comment on my U chicago supplement essay also.
Thanks :)
