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"Insight" - common app short ans. (Intl student)


devansh1411 2 / 5  
Dec 22, 2011   #1
"An Insight"

Many might find working, over the summer, as an computer instructor at an asylum mundane. However the time I spent at Arpan - A school for mentally challenged children couldn't have been better spent.

No student at Arpan was mentally inferior. On careful observation, for example, each one displayed his unique approach towards typing A through Z but just wouldn't accept the conventional. They would try to find patterns; "Why are U and I together", they'd ask. I learned the importance of vision, and the human tendency to ignore the "Obvious!". On typing the wrong character, they went all the way back and started again. I learned perseverance and perfection. Even if I fired them for mistakes, they smiled back. I felt guilty for ever cursing my teachers over course-load. I learned as much as anyone in the class, including proficiently operating a ball mouse by moving the ball itself! Apart from teaching my favorite subject, I also got an insight into a marvelous little world.

Thanks for reading

This is still a bit rough. Please give any and all advise.
(will post essay soon)
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Dec 22, 2011   #2
Many might find working, ---No comma here.-- over the summer, ---or here-- as a computer instructor at an asylum, mundane.

However the time I spent at Arpan - A school for mentally challenged children, couldn't have been better spent.

They would try to find patterns; "Why are U and I together", they'd ask.---Wow, this was very observant of you!

Even if I fired ---this isn't the right word here---them for mistakes, they smiled back.

I felt guilty for ever cursing my teachers, over course-load.

I learned as much as anyone in the class, including proficiently operating a ball mouse by moving the ball itself! ---This is great!

I enjoyed your essay! It shows your intelligence, sense of humor, compassion and a deep wisdom, which is much better than plain intelligence! Good luck with school!

:)
OP devansh1411 2 / 5  
Dec 22, 2011   #3
Thanks a lot!~
How could I make it better?.. Something missing ?
lch920619x 5 / 19  
Dec 23, 2011   #4
Hi, it was a pleasure to read your essay.

but "On typing the wrong character, they went all the way back and started again. I learned perseverance and perfection. "

Are you sure that they did it because of " perseverance and perfection"? I think you need to work on this part to make it more impressive or convincing.


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