Well, here is my common app essay, I don't know which category it belongs to. Also, what do you think of the title, Good? or Irrelevant? Any edits or suggestions are greatly appreciated:
Which of the two categories would it belong to?
1) Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
6) Topic of your choice.
My Essay: (759 words)
Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I first became interested in Aerospace Engineering from an airplane model kit and jumping out a window. One day as a ten year old boy, I didn't find any enjoyment going outside to play in the snow like most of the kids in my neighborhood. I instead found myself indoors, sitting in my living room with an airplane model kit box in front of me just waiting to be built.
It was a 1/72 scale B-52 Stratofortress that I had received as an early holiday present from my Uncle. As I opened the box up, I noticed all the intricate little pieces numbering almost one-hundred that came in the kit, along with large and very detailed schematics of the finished model. What surprised me most was not thinking something along the lines of "This is impossible! I'll be an old man by the time I finish this!"; but rather that maybe I could make it fly.
For each piece I took, my curiosity grew, as did my pursuit of answers. As I looked at a piece of the rudder I wondered: "How does this help the plane fly?". I wanted answers to how humans started from walking on bare feet to orbiting around earth in a satellite. Coincidentally, my parents purchased our first computer, and the knowledge available online blew my mind as a technological achievement. With hours of Google research, I discovered thousands of different planes made with different purposes in mind. From the concepts created by the Wright brothers, to the designs of modern day Aerospace Engineers, my fascination with aircraft and spacecraft grew. My initial reaction as I read about each planes history, usage, design, and process of development, was how complicated it was. Now remember, we're talking about a ten year old boy reading about topics like aerodynamics and propulsion.
As I delved deeper into research, an idea sparked in my head; what if I could make myself fly? I still believe I am wired differently after I found myself lying on the ground for the second time in my front yard nearly buried in snow. What is weirder is that I was more upset about another failed test-run rather than my safety. After jumping out of my two-story bedroom window with "airplane wings" cut out of a cardboard box and immediately falling, there was obviously something wrong with my design. Then it hit me, what I was missing was a force to move me farther and keep me levitating. For the 3rd attempt, I taped two handheld fans to the ends of each wing, as well as a small tabletop fan to my back in hopes of propelling me further. In consideration of safety in the case that my parents were unaware of my antics, and that there would be trouble following any injuries beyond the bruises I had already received; I tied a pillow around me. Unfortunately and predictably, the idea didn't work . Despite being more upset about failing my experiment over the fact that I survived with only bruises from the impact of landing on the fan and breaking it, what kept me motivated was the sight of a commercial plane flying over head, heading to the nearest airport.
Thankfully I had reason to stop after my third experiment so things didn't get out of hand. Yet what does that have to do with my future? That day made me realize that wanting to create things that fly was a career I would love doing. Though better cautions and concepts would be needed so that the injuries I sustained that day or worse would not happen for the people using my designs. To this day whether I am drafting a design for my engineering and architecture classes, or programming an autonomous robot for the Robotics Team, I take in consideration all my experiences with failure along with an ambition for improvement, to produce a result fitting for its purpose. This is why I need college so that I can develop not just my engineering skills, but also my leadership skills, and expressing my ambition. I would like to think that in the future I'll use my engineering skills to better the world and tackle the most difficult challenges whether it's simply to get from point a to point b quicker, or discover further regions of space and maybe even provide a method to make it livable out there. Inspiration can come from the strangest circumstances, but they can lead to even better ideas.
You should make your intro more lively, since it IS a really interesting incident!
other than that, beautiful essay. with a tweaked intro it should be shooting for the stars.
hahahah awful pun intended. :D
read mine as well? :D
***I enjoy the last paragraph. the set-up is MUCH TOO long. but i like the ideas presented.
Again, as i commented within the essay, I can't picture your first encounter with this modeling kit. Think about the 5 senses. what you saw, instead of "Now remember..."
THANKS FOR EDITING MY ESSAY! :)
oh and the prompt for my northwestern one was: "what are the unique qualities of Northwestern- and of the specific undergrad school to which you are applying- that makes you want to attend the university? In what ways d you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?"
