This thread was previously closed as a result of ignorance to thread naming conventions. Any help is appreciated. I need to cut out about 400 characters of this so help in that regard would be much appreciated.
Prompt: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.
Essay: In my search for a suitable college I have desired above all an environment in which I am able to discuss my interests and develop opinions with my peers. Columbia University has already proven to be the perfect place for this goal.
During my freshman year of high school I was ecstatic to visit Columbia University's Miller Theatre for an opera adaptation of David Lynch's masterpiece "Lost Highway".
While waiting for the opera to begin, I overheard two Columbia students discussing several of Lynch's movies. As I heard their interpretations of many of Lynch's works, I marveled at their ability to develop opinions as a team. In my search for a college, I have desired, above all, an environment in which I can develop ideas as those brilliant students did. Columbia University has proven to be the greatest opportunity for this.
While I personally took no part in this conversation, it thrilled me.
In your first sentence, it might be a good idea to tell about your interests and opinions instead of just referring to them. Perhaps you are interested in a college where you can discuss theatre and concepts related to it...
In order to cut it down to size, you could actually cut out all of this: In my search for ... perfect place for this goal.
If you start with, "My initial experience with..." I think it will be great!!!!
Thank you for the excellent advice.
My only concern with cutting the first two sentences is that my reason for wanting to go to Columbia may not be stated as clearly.
Ok, I think this is a vast improvement.
I'm still about 325 characters over though.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, Thank You.
Hey, I'm honestly really sorry if I'm being obnoxious to anyone by posting again to try to get this thread more attention, but I'm applying to this college for early decision and I'd like to have everything in tomorrow. I've just been having a problem cutting this essay down so I'd really appreciate any help.
Hello, sorry it took so long. This has been a busy place!!
Why did you do a paragraph break after that first sentence?
I think you should add one or two more reasons why it is the best place for you -- so that it is not entirely based on an overheard conversation.
Also, it would be good to describe that overhearing of the conversation as a very memorable moment. The important thing was not what they said but the change that happened in you.
