So i am running out of things to talk about. if you can help me that would be much appreciated. it is now at 233 words. if you could please help me more with content rather than grammar.
Prompt: Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.
One of the aims of my high school is to create "inspired learners and responsible global citizens" and my plan as a university student is to achieve that. I have been inspired by many things, most of which have come as a result of being an international student. Issues such as the war in the Democratic Republic of Congo have resonated with me to such a degree that I plan to help women and children in this area. I believe that the many research opportunities provided to undergraduates by the professors in Boston University would be beneficial in helping me understand certain issues that pertain to my future area of work as a psychologist. The many community service clubs that are offered by the university would allow me to familiarize myself with working with others, more so than I have in the past. Service clubs, such as the UNICEF Campus Initiative, which model themselves on NGOs would also be advantageous to me as I plan to work for an organization such as Doctors without Borders or International Medical Corps once I have completed my degree. Boston University's large size would allow me to undertake many courses which interest me even if they do not necessarily pertain to my major, which would be psychology. I have come to know that the career centre is helpful in helping students locate internships which would suit their major and career plan, even though I have already completed an internship at a psychology house in India, I know that gaining further experience would be beneficial to me as a learner. Because diversity is so important to me, the study abroad program would be advantageous to me. I would be able to experience various cultures firsthand in countries I had never visited before as opposed to meeting people from different countries as I did before in my international school. The Dual Degree program also appeals to me as I would most likely undertake another degree to study alongside psychology, something that would allow me to understand certain aspects of war, government and internal conflicts such as a Political Science and Government degree. Of all that I want to accomplish as a university student, the most important to me is to have a memorable experience and I believe that being a part of the Boston University community, I will be able to achieve this goal. With the university placed in Boston, there is so much to experience and appreciate from the arts to the history of the city that I doubt I would ever run out of things to do and see, after I have finished my course work, of course.
I think you have some good ideas, but you need to expand on them more. Perhaps you should consider making a list of what you know about the university and another list of your goals while you are there. Then you could relate the two. Be careful not to simply say what you want to do. Right now, it sounds too much like a list. This could be avoided by varying your sentence structure a bit. For example, you start off a lot of sentences with "I believe" I really think that if you just expand on the ideas you already have you can get to 500 words.
