Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
My dream is to become a scientist and make great contributions to the society. This dream was inspired by my family. My family is very diligent and hardworking, we believe that education and determination is the path toward a successful life.
I was inspired by my parents' life story, especially my father's. My father was born in lower class of China, the part of the society where feeding oneself with adequate food was considered a lavish dream. But through hard work and dedication, he got PhD Degree and became scientist in America.
Using their life story as a guide, my parents expected great achievements from me. Ever since I could read and talk, my parents told me many stories of great innovators and scientists, such as Isaac Newton and Thomas Edison, who has revolutionize the world. Motivated by the stories of the great figures of the past and the remarkable accomplishments of my parents, I made a resolve that I will dedicate my life to great achievements in the field of science and technology and make contributions to the world.
My dream was inspired by my parents and I believe that through following my family's tradition of diligence and persistency, I will achieve my dream in the future.
who have revolutionized the world
I will dedicate my life to great achievements in the field of science and technology and make contributions to the world.
Too vague.
My dream was inspired by my parents and I believe that through following my family's tradition of diligence and persistency, I will achieve my dream in the future.
I would elaborate on what your "dream" is rather than just calling it "my dream."
Here is another correction:
My family is very diligent and hardworking; we believe that education and determination represent the path toward a successful life.
I was inspired by my parents' life story stories, especially my father's.
Using their life story stories as a guide, my parents ...
:-)
