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'intellectual tenacity' - Transfer College Essay for UW-Madison

Feb 27, 2018   #1
PROMPT: Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, share with us the academic, extracurricular, or research opportunities you would take advantage of as a student. If applicable, provide details of any circumstance that could have had an impact on your academic performance and/or extracurricular involvement (you may enter up to 650 words).

opportunities during study in University of Wisconsin

ESSAY: Choosing the right school is a decision that I do not take lightly, and I'm looking for an institution that can provide the most opportunities for me to grow academically and develop my character. Ever since I first laid eyes on the great pillars of Bascom Hall I couldn't get Madison out of my mind. Okay, it may be one of the top research institutions in the nation, it may have one of the greatest NCAA football teams in America, and it may have a world class academic faculty, but so many other schools check these boxes. And yet UW-Madison has made me more excited about continuing my education than any other school. The reason is because of its abundance of opportunities and strong sense of school spirit and community.

Of course, the main reason I am applying to any school is to further my education so I can arm myself with the intellectual tenacity that will allow me to serve my purpose in life most fully. The Wisconsin idea that education should extend beyond the classroom to benefit all people in the state I cannot agree with enough, and I hope to fulfill this profound legacy throughout my life as I give back to the world. Aside from the extensive amount of classes offered, I am interested in seeking opportunities that will further my experience in the field of computer science, and in particular artificial intelligence and machine learning. I hope to take courses in artificial intelligence and seek research opportunities with the professors to gain experience in the process of acquiring knowledge.

Aside from broadening my academic arsenal I also intend on building my character through participating in extracurricular activities. The moment I decided that I belonged at UW Madison was when I read through the list of student led organizations. What an impressive and diverse list of interests! If the diversity of the list is any reflection of the student body I am sure to fit right in. To name a few of the clubs that sparked my enthusiasm, I would get involved with the Art History Society, Better Business Ideas, Chess Club, Entrepreneurship of UW-Madison, the Madison Debate Society, Men's Rugby Club, and the Society of Undergraduate Research. I'm thrilled just thinking about being an active member of the group of students that proudly call themselves Badgers.

To top it all off, Madison just seems like an amazing place to be. Of course the scenery is incredibly beautiful, and there are plenty of things to do downtown. But I am most interested in the fact that Madison is Wisconsin's capitol. Politics have always been an important part of my understanding of the world, and what better place to have such an interest?

University should be the engine that drives civilization to greater heights. It should produce an alumni that are motivated to take on the world and make a difference to better their fellow man. It should inspire its students to reach their fullest potential by taking as many opportunities as they can. I aim to make my alma mater proud someday, and if you would have me, I will wear my Badge with honor.
Holt - / 7,651 1998  
Mar 1, 2018   #2
Ian, for an essay with a title like "Intellectual Tenacity" , there was very little discussion of how you plan to pursue your academic / intellectual interest in this essay. You discussed your academic interest with less vigor than you did the extracurricular participation you hope to have as a student. There is no clear reference as to how you plan to pursue specific academic interests in relation to your major. That can weaken your essay presentation tremendously. I will admit that the essay is enjoyable to read. It is fun and extremely wordy, but not enlightening in the correct manner. Unless you accurately represent your academic interests and extracurricular activities in a related manner, this highly creative essay still won't serve the purpose that it was written for. Reduce the extra curricular listings to only academic related. Don't discuss politics in the essay. The fact that Wisconsin is the capital doesn't mean you will have a political motivation in the university. Do not pose questions in the essay that do not have answers coming from you. Do not use exclamation points in an essay meant to serve as a formal interview. Keep your written energy down to a formal level. Too much written excitement can also cause an essay to become badly written.

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