Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
"You've got to find a place where your preparation and natural abilities are able to fuse together to allow you to perform the bet you can-- it's called being 'In the zone.'" These were the words spoken by the varsity football coach to all of the seniors on the team this year at a mid-season dinner hosted by he and his wife. As evidenced by the almost two hours per day spent by the varsity team in his room, reviewing game film of our upcoming opponents, every day during the season, he is a big believer in an sort of mental preparation usually not found at the high school level of football. Thirty page packets of scouting reports, notebooks full of each player's notes, and websites dedicated exclusively to the viewing of any and all game film were added to the usual physical aspects of the game. It was all his way of trying to have a team that was "in the zone" come game time, and, as I sat there at dinner listening to him describe what exactly it meant when someone was in the zone, I realized it had worked. I thought back to our first couple games, when, without any conscious calculation of tendencies or reference to my notes, just knew what play the opponent was running and was able to act accordingly.
However, as I listened to my coach's explanation and came to this realization, I also discovered that his definition of being in the zone applied to much more than just football. I realized that the same feeling of knowing exactly what to do and how to do it was the same way I felt when taking a final, when writing an essay, or when doing a project. There is no better feeling than the feeling of receiving a test for which you have prepared for and being able to complete it with that sense of confidence in knowing you are in that "zone" and that you are intellectually alive at that moment. This little talk from my coach, intended to improve our performance on the field, has served as a reminder to me, that in my intellectual development, all that I have learned in my academic pursuits has been a result of preparation and ability, only one of which has ever been or ever will be under my control.
I think this idea applies more to the idea of intellectual vitality than it does to intellectual development. But do you think this could still work?
Let me know what you think! Thanks!
I would cinsider it development, seeing as you realized you could take one aspect of your life and apply it to others. Definitely an interesting and personal essay. I think you were in the "zone" when you wrote this.
*You do have some very complex sentences with lots of commas- I'm probably not the best to try to edit them- I don't want to steer you the wrong way. Just try looking through for comma splices and such
-HIM and his wife
-As evidenced by the almost two hours per day spent by the varsity team in his room, reviewing game film of our upcoming opponents, every day during the season, he is a big believer in an sort of mental preparation usually not found at the high school level of football.<<< This sentence could be separated into two
- It was all his way of trying to have a team that was "in the zone" come game time, and, as I sat there at dinner listening to him describe what exactly it meant when someone was in the zone , I realized it had worked. <<<eliminate the red, unnecessary
-This little talk from my coach, intended to improve our performance on the field, has served as a reminder to me, that in my intellectual development, all that I have learned in my academic pursuits has been a result of preparation and ability, only one of which has ever been or ever will be under my control. <<<<This can be put into two sentences as well
Overall, good essay! I like the concept, just a view grammatical errors. It sticks to the prompt and keeps it personal. Nice overall! :)
Yeah, i think I might have someone look at it and work on those run-on sentences. But if you guys think it still adequately addresses the prompt, that's good news for me.
