Intellectually-rich culture and traditions such as the Scav Hunt - Why UChicago Essay

Hi this is my draft of the why uchicago essay. It will be great if I can receive some feedback!

Prompt: How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

Throughout my life, I have always been attracted to adventure. The thought of exploring new places and discovering something I never knew entices me. I longed to travel, but not just to the typical big cities of the world. I want to visit the small towns and villages where the cultures of those people are truly preserved and not stained by globalization. The attraction for physical adventure has translated into intellectual adventure as well. I enjoy challenging existing ideas and to look at things at different angles. The want to challenge beliefs stems from being intellectually oppressed as a child. Growing up, I was taught to keep my mouth shut, speak only when spoken to and to never voice my opinion. What my elders believe is what I should believe and I must never question that.

Now, I want to challenge those beliefs and to learn to think for myself. For three years, I have worked at three different summer camps with elementary school children. To me, children are the ones who are the innovative thinkers. They are young enough to imagine and to believe in the impossible. Children are the ones who are able to always find another way, another angle of looking at something. This is something I want to achieve, or to regain. At the University of Chicago, I hope to find my inner child, to enhance my ability to think creatively. Even from the supplemental essay questions, I can see that this university values both critical and creative thinking. The essay prompts seem a bit strange, but are very thought provoking and requires imagination to write. I have not seen any other schools with supplements which require me to think at such a high level.

In addition, my love for adventure has translated into my love for learning. It isn't until junior year of high school that I realized I enjoyed both the sciences and the arts. I have grown up in a tunnel vision in which I only focused on the sciences. However, I recently discover I enjoyed history as much as I enjoyed science. Because of the expansion of my interests, the renowned Core curriculum serves as the perfect platform for me to explore my options. The Core curriculum is often interdisciplinary so it offers me not just one or two perspectives, but a multitude. I know that at the University of Chicago, no matter which direction I decide to go into, it will be strongly fortified by the core curriculum. Because the University of Chicago is capable in both the humanities and the sciences, I know I will be able to immerse myself in whichever field I will study in.

The University of Chicago itself is located in such a diverse city which taps into my desire to absorb a different culture. Chicago has a rich history of being an industrious city and one of the most urban cities in the US. The university itself also has a rich history and traditions such as the Scav Hunt. The sense of community it emulates satisfies my want of belonging. I want to fit in a community that is not only rich in culture, but also rich in intellectual thought. The University of Chicago is the perfect combination of the two.

I'm not sure if this is right, but I've heard that it's a no-no to talk about the actual applications in the essays. Plus, I'm pretty sure Chicago is aware that their prompts are interesting, so I would get rid of that part and instead focus on how you wish to develop creative thinking in UChicago (specifics).

I liked how you talked about what in your life developed each aspect you mentioned, but, again, speak more specifics and how certain programs or things offered on campus meet your needs for voicing your beliefs etc.

Hope it helped! I'm also applying UChic! Good luck!

p.s. please help check out my essay too

Jessica, you are in a bit of a jam here. You just successfully managed to insult the reviewer and the university in one paragraph. Your comments about the strangeness of the prompts were irrelevant to the discussion. All you succeeded in doing was angering the reviewer who, at that point of reading your essay, most likely made up his mind that you do not belong nor have a place in the University of Chicago community. While you think that you are complimenting the university, by questioning their prompts and calling it strange, you have done the exact opposite. Do yourself a favor, delete that part.

Aside from being an unspoken rule, it is also quite rude to discuss and compare the prompts of various universities you are applying to. The main idea that you should be presenting is that UChicago is your only university of choice. How well do you think your chances will be for admission if the reviewer openly knows that you are applying to various universities? Nope. That particular line alone just tanked the whole essay. Take it out and salvage the rest of the essay for use in this prompt.

Now, about your reference to the summer camp activity, I am not sure about how that directly relates to your interest in the UChicago curriculum. I would rather that you speak of your repressed childhood and how you were not able to voice your opinions or let your imagination soar because you could not question the adults decisions or comments. That to me reverberates more with the childhood innocence that you hope to regain at the university. Remember, this essay should be all about you and your future relationship with the university. So references to unknown children doesn't really carry much weight in the response. Always have your responses and examples emanate from you, your past, your background, your experiences.

Your discussion about the Core curriculum works well as an additional response to the prompt. I would not want you to change anything about it because it shows a direct connection between the curriculum and yourself. Mentioning a few classes you want to attend will help to bring more life to the paragraph as well. Try to do that if you can :-)