In this essay I tried to be specific about why Northwestern appeals to me and what I would do as a student there. This is a rough draft so I am looking for feedback on both content and grammar. Don't be afraid to be harsh. Oh and if you edit my essay I will return the favor.
What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
I lackidasically hoisted the computer into my lap, thought for a moment and then began to type "northwestern.edu" in the the URL bar. This summer afternoon would be as good as any to research the school that had been so impressing a few weeks earlier. As the page loaded, I decided to browse through the majors and minors, and perhaps explore my intended major of International Studies. Eventually, I landed up on the International Studies Department home page where I stumbled upon some course listings. I gazed at the screen and my mouth gaped open in wonder, before me was an embarrassment of riches. Courses like Icons, Legends, and Myths in Latin America, How Not to be Good in Renaissance England, Global Inequality, and The Rise of Asia, immediately grabbed my attention. I was fascinated simply by the names of the courses. I could only imagine what it would be like to attend one of those classes, the discussions that would be had, and what I would learn about the world.
I spent the next few days researching Northwestern and daydreaming about what it would be like to be a student. I saw myself snuggled up in my purple Wildcat hoodie, while I staked my claim to paint the Rock. I was walking to my Freshmen Seminar with a couple classmates and discussing the show we had seen at the Theatre and Interpretation Center. I pictured myself living in the International Studies Residential College and cooking a meal with my suite mates from our adopted country. I was preparing to study aboard in Rio de Janeiro where I would take a course on contemporary Brazil. I was walking around campus giving out free hugs with the Happiness Club, studying at Deering Library, screaming away all my frustrations the Sunday before finals, and mentoring Chicago area students with the Chicago Area Mentorship Program. It was not hard to picture myself living, working, and playing at Northwestern. There is so much to experience and learn, and there are so many events happening on campus that I could never be bored.
I found that Northwestern, in every aspect, appeals to me. It has small, intellectually stimulating classes that facilitate discussion, a large number of study aboard programs that would allow to study anywhere in the world, and a diverse student population that is dedicated to improving not only life on campus but in the surrounding community. At Northwestern I would not only improve my mind, through the stunning variety of courses available, but I would also improve my character through my daily interactions with students and faculty. Northwestern is a whole new world with unparalleled opportunities that was opened up to me because I was bored one summer day.
research the school that had been so impressing a few weeks earlier
Perhaps a bit on why you found it so impressing?
I gazed at the screen and my mouth gaped open in wonder, before me was an embarrassment of riches.
I don't think a comma fits there - maybe a semi colon or dash? And not sure if embarrassment is the right word there.
not only life on campus but in the surrounding community
I think there should be a comma between "campus" and "but" but I'm not 100% sure.
Overall it was a good essay and the specific examples you used definitely showed that you cared enough about the school to research it. Just some grammatical mistakes, but other than that well done!
If you can, help critique my Yale Supplement? Thanks in advance!
