Short Essay: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.
In my search for a university, I desired not only to find a place specific programs that would suit my interests of study but also one with a broad range of opinions, places, and opportunities that I could explore. In my lifetime, I have already traveled to twenty-three countries which has strengthened my inner passion for open-mindedness and diversity. The first step was location: Where else but a student- friendly city like Boston would I find a place that offers internships and community service projects that I covet? The next step was finding the college that would fit me best: I was immediately struck by Boston University's ability to integrate itself into the surrounding city. Delving deeper, I discovered many programs that are perfect for me, especially the Dresden Internship Program which molds to my intended Biochemistry major as well as my love for learning new languages. I took one more look at the white of red letters of Boston University, saw myself in the community -from walking with my friends along the river, listening to Stravinsky and Bartók at Symphony Hall, singing with the Glee Club, to working alongside my devoted peers and faculty- and I knew it was the place for me.
*river, *for
sorry, typos...
Second half of the essay is very good IMO because of the specificity. Overall, very well written.
The first step was location: Where else but Boston would I find a place where I can find the internships and community service projects that every college student covets?
Why exactly is this true?
I don't know if this correction helps my essay a little. Thanks for your suggestions! lmk!
Hi stephanie, have I told you I think your username is really cool. It brightens my day when I see it.
In my search for a university, I desired not only to find a place specific programs that would suit my interests of study but also one with a broad range of opinions, places, and opportunities that I could explore.
In my lifetime, I have already traveled to twenty-three countries which has strengthened my inner passion for open-mindedness and diversity. ---You know, I think this is a weak statement. I guess I think it does not convey what you want it to convey. Maybe you can replace it with a sentence about your career interests.
The first step was location: Where else but a student- friendly city like Boston would I find a place that offers internships and community service projects that I covet?--I think covet is a weird word to use, and I think this sentence should reference particular types of internships. Reinforce to the reader that you have invested a lot of thought in your goals.
The next step was finding the college that would fit me best: I was immediately struck by Boston University's ability to integrate itself into the surrounding city with the XXXXX program, and the YYYY (i.e. examples).
especially the Dresden Internship Program ---good example...
Biochemistry major as well as my love for learning new language --- this is what you should write more about.
:-)
