Thank you Louisa.
I will fix the first personal statement and repost it when I am done. If you have time, can you give a feedback on my second personal statement as well?
My intended is Economics.
The prompt is What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
My curiosity for economy arose when I was backpacking in China three years ago. I was fortunate to experience the prospective world's largest economy in Shanghai, China. What made me surprised was not only the country's rapid economic growth but their enormous market size. It made me think that everyone in any country can be the potential customer in the global market and that the market will keep growing with limited barriers, if any.
The "Made In China" goods are often perceived as an object of derision because of its mimicked goods. When Japanese started making their automobiles in early 20th century, they mimicked both European and American cars. In Shanghai, some of the cars from SAIC Motor looked very similar to Honda Fit and Toyota Corolla. A success story of Japanese automobile crossed my mind. Considering China's huge market and its rapid growth in various industries, I thought for a moment that the recognition of the term "Made In China" would be changed soon. I was thrilled to see what kind of economic situation would bring to the world economy once the United States passes the baton to China.
Right after my trip to S. Korea and China for 3 months, I came back to the States. It was time to begin my academics and become knowledgeable about economics. Thankfully, I could meet wonderful economic professors in my college and began to learn this fascinating subject; learning about supply and demand, the fundamental concept for price determination was an eye opener followed by lots of theories by economists, and influence of the media and political issues on economics. I began to enjoy being able to see the world more broadly while I could comprehensively understand the cause and effects of certain economic issues. One of my professors also introduced us how stock market was working and I began stock trading as well. Investing some of saved money from my part time work was not a lot but it was large enough to make me sensitive to the fluctuating stock prices due to news about enterprises and government policy. As I have been doing stock trading, I could educate myself to be analytic about news and to know how enterprises thrives with their business strategies.
During my second year in college, I got an opportunity to become a professional seller on eBay. As a weight lifter, I have always sought a cheaper way to buy protein and I finally found one seller on Craigslist who was selling the products in bulk for less than a half of the regular price. I decided to buy 120 bags and sell them again on eBay. My family was skeptical about my plan but I was confident because I have learned economics! To attract buyers, I decided to have lower profit margin. As a result, 72 bags were sold within a month and I purchased 300 more bags. Meanwhile, I had a hand-on experience on economics as I was competing with other sellers. One of other sellers challenged me because he was selling at extremely lower price. I contacted him and we compromised on price, which won't hurt sellers but still lower enough to be compatible in the market. After 9 months, I had sold everything. I was excited to actively participate in market system and this experience encouraged me to pursue more education in economic field and to become a person who can positively impact the world.