Any feedback would be appreciated
Growing up, I harbored no passion for politics. I knew who the president was, but beyond that the thought of spending my entire life doing nothing but talking for hours wasn't quite the life dream I had in mind. That all changed in eighth grade during the 2004 elections. My social studies, Mrs. Hagen, was was very politically active in the community, and tried to instill us with the same. She made me see all that politics encompassed, and the impact it had on our lives. The way she taught motivated me to do something with my life. From her, I developed ambitious goals to become active in politics and shape the future of my generation.
As a high school freshman, I joined Model United Nations. At the time, I was an extremely insecure 15-year-old with no real vocational skills. The truth was, I had always dreamed of making big changes, but I had never taken any steps towards my dreams. In MUN, I was forced to speak in front of audiences, negotiate with other "delegates", and come up with pragmatic solutions. The hard work paid off, though, as I was elected Vice-President during my junior year. It was intimidating to try and manage a club with almost 100 members, but it forced me to improve as a leader, and I emerged with valuable diplomacy skills.
During my first year at UCSD, I entered student government. Though I could hardly say I was experienced, being in that environment helped me develop as a public speaker and negotiator. It was a new feeling, knowing that the decision I made could potentially affect thousands of students. Yet the feeling of accomplishment that I got from passing an important resolution, or successfully hosting an important event, made me proud to be involved. More importantly, the experience taught me the importance of getting involved with my surroundings, and I hope to carry this trait with me wherever I go.
My various experiences have taught me that political science will provide me with the motivation and communication skills I need to meet my goals. I am currently studying abroad in Germany and my experiences here have only re-affirmed my passion for the subject. Here I am able to view the same issues from a completely different mindset, and can compare the fundamental differences in the two cultures. Political Science has a great impact on our lives, though we may not realize it, and I feel that it is path where I can make the biggest difference in the world today.
My social studies teacher , Mrs. Hagen, was was very politically active in the community, and tried to instill us with the same.
Social Studies not social studies
Meh. It's okay. It would be much better, though, if you were to get into the specifics of what you had learned and accomplished.
negotiate with other "delegates", and come up with pragmatic solutions
For example, when you discussed . . .
It was a new feeling, knowing that the decision I made could potentially affect thousands of students.
What decisions did you make? How were students affected?
Yet the feeling of accomplishment that I got from passing an important resolution, or successfully hosting an important event,
What resolutions did you pass? What events did you host?
I am currently studying abroad in Germany and my experiences here have only re-affirmed my passion for the subject.
What experiences were those, exactly?
Right, but I need to do it all within 400 words. Which parts would you recommend adding on to, and which should I leave out?
Your first paragraph could probably be condensed down to a single sentence. No one much cares what happened to you in eighth grade at this point. Probably, though, you should add the specifics in first, then worry about cutting it down to the right length once you can see the full range of details you might include.
Political Science Major essay
Political Science is often associated with global powers and important leaders. In reality however, it is simply the study of how decisions are made within a group, regardless of the context.
A few friends and I started a project working with homeless children who lacked basic social and academic skills. Many had witnessed traumatic events at young ages, and cut themselves off from the outside world. Though I was designated as program coordinator, in reality I was an insecure fourteen-year-old with few vocational or leadership skills. The shelter too was worried that we would further damage the children's psyche, and warned us to proceed with caution. Several of my fellow volunteer questioned my competency, and there was clearly a lack of cohesion within the group.
Faced with these challenges, I decided to take a new route. I diluted the authority of our program, so that more volunteers would have roles. Though it meant giving up some power, I found that people were more willing to compromise if they each had a direct responsibility to the children. We also began to include the shelter in our planning, in order to create an agenda that would be beneficial to all. I was amazed at how things had turned around: suddenly interacting with one another became easier. Making decisions was no longer the daunting task it once was, and I became fascinated at how the smallest of changes could turn conflict into cooperation. This interest helped me realize the power of effective communication, as we created an effective program through a communal effort.
Political Science is described as "who gets what, when and how." Through our program, we were able to give the children a chance at a better life by teaching them vital skills for their futures. As the program began to progress, I too found myself slowly becoming more confident in my actions. In a strange turn of events, I was developing the self-belief originally meant only for the children.
I intend to graduate with a B.A. in Political Science, for it is where I can best impact the future of my generation. Since entering UCSD, I have taken several Honors seminars to deepen my knowledge of the subject, and have even studied abroad to see how politics operate in regions with different values than our own. Through my various experiences I have come to realize that Political Science is everywhere in our lives and it, through proper application, has the power to enact positive change at every level of society.
