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"My interest in communication, media, culture" - Motivation letter for transferring


maiorengi 1 / -  
Feb 27, 2011   #1
Hello, Essay forum team. I am an international student and there are supposedly many grammatical errors in the essay.
Could you help revise this essay? I appreciate your help! thanks in advance :)

My teacher once said, " You two would be a perfect person if you compensate for each other's shortcoming." The words were always comforting as my heart somehow tickled. It may be sound bizarre but I was rather content than accepting my imperfection. With my mouth closed, people would realize that we are identical twins. This status of being a twin has been a major obstacle to my communication skills. Through the experiences I had alone in the United States established the indispensable confident in communicating with others.

My interest in communication began as such. The interest turned into my desire to learn the depth of it and has led to the continuous

There are a few research themes that I would like to delve into at ---. The first one is how the Social Networking Services are influencing on the young people and its effect on their interpersonal sentiment. Surrounded by SNS, we may be taken its entity for granted, leading the

The mystery always remains as I scroll through up-to-date comments and the statuses which people are posting, in that they share the anxiety or excitement, expecting for the reply. I have already done the experiment within my contact lists and found interesting results. Nevertheless, I found it is imperfect due to the shortage sample numbers, leaving me with a strong motivation to conclude the research.

Another one is the research pertaining to the film studies on the stereotype. The quote, "Hollywood and Washington: Sprung from the same DNA" stated by Jack Valenti enthralled me, leaving me a desire to further the investigation in the field of communication. The film, in other words the tools of communication, and the politics, or the society, are the all time allied agent and often times reinforcing the stereotype of every race which ultimately leads to the real life behavior.

My career goal is to become a mediator between the media and the people, not the society itself. If the world of media were to continuously manipulating us, citizen, in order to earn their profits of striving to perfection, no one would be able to sense the beauty of things.

The Communication, Media, and Culture major at --- is uniquely equipped me to guide me toward these objectives, while searching for a school that would accommodate my interdisciplinary interests, I was thrilled to find a program that approaches interpersonal communication with a media focus, and media with a culture focus, recognizing that the hybrid of the fields have the potential to be an entry point for social, cultural, and personal inquiry.

The course produced by ---'s Communication studies department deeply attracts me. "Technology and Communication" for instance, is the inevitable class for understanding and gives me the opportunity to discuss with others the issue that I would like to pursue. I will be the one who can share the solid opinions and expand the discussion from using both the Japanese and American eyes in the class. In addition to such class, in order to successfully conduct my research, it is necessary for me to take the class as "Research methods in communication."

I have been diligent in my pursuit of the field of communication studies as a career because I am convinced that learning communication offers me the opportunity to live fulfilling, rewarding life dedicated to the world, society, and people. I am making a decision about my future by choosing to apply to ---. I am designing my future because with an ---education, I know I will obtain the foundation necessary for success. At ---- I will become a change agent for the better future.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13319 129  
Mar 2, 2011   #2
The words were always comforting as they somehow tickled my heart. somehow tickled. It may be sound bizarre, but I was rather content than and accepting of my imperfection.

... may be taken its entity for granted, leading the----missing some words?

My career goal is to become a mediator between the media and the people, not the society itself. ----This is unclear.
If the world of media were to continuously manipulating us, citizen, in order to earn their profits of striving to perfection, no one would be able to sense the beauty of things.------Okay, this is cool, but you still should precede this sentence with a sentence that explains what you mean about ... "not the society itself."

The course produced by ---'s Communication studies department deeply attracts me. ----The specificity here is great! I think is good if you add a topic sentence to this paragraph... add a sentence to the beginning of this paragraph to introduce it to the reader.

Your plans are impressive!


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