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"An interest in History always grows."--Undergrad essay


elevit2 9 / 20  
Aug 17, 2011   #1
Hello, to whom may be reading this. Please change any words, sentences, and grammar/punctuation that you feel is in need for change for a better essay, thank you.

My passion for History came from my A.P. U.S. History teacher, Mr. Frantonius. His unique and innovative approach toward history made his lessons come alive. During a discussion on the political rifts John Adams went through in Congress, instead of reading direct sayings by John Adams, he would put his own spin on what they would say today. For John Adams it would be: "remove yourself sir!" directed toward a congressman he was displeased with. Soon we too would mend historical events in our own unique perspective to better comprehend them. During a discussion of V-E Day, my teacher expressed another philosophy: "History has been the blood rushing within our veins that gives life support and reason for people to continue embarking a better chapter of their lives. It is revisiting our glorious past that we can better understand ourselves, developing a culture of patriotism to one's country and origin." My family's past came into mind as I realized the blood, sweat, and tears my own great grandmother had to go through to survive in the war. If she did not take the courageous acts she took, I might not even exist now. History correlates with the present. If it were not for our forefathers and the sacrifices they made, we would not exist. If I attend the University of Iowa, I will be one step closer to teaching this philosophy in the classroom to other students in the hope of them revisiting their own roots.

During a discussion on present-day Israel, Mr. Frantonius mentioned the reasons why Israel is going through its religious war and the factors behind it. Around the same time, my family and I were planning to travel to the heart of Israel: Jerusalem. Before our departure, I researched the history behind Israel within many of its historical sites in order to learn how my roots are connected to the past. When we arrived, the first site we visited was the Western Wall, one we mentioned in class. Yet, in real life it came more alive. Our relatives greeted us there. They discussed how every day can appear as a 911 scene, a living nightmare. This made me realize how the present directly coincides with the past in terms of political and religious toil from King David and biblical times I brushed up on at home.

I came across the University of Iowa for its unique history department. I was drawn by its own philosophy of the breadth history can offer, such as asking questions like: "Why are communities and societies constructed in the ways they are?" and "What legacies have those developments left us to contend with?" These purposeful questions correlated with my own, and I know that by attending the University of Iowa I will be able to uncover these questions with the help of professors like Pat Goodwin, Sheri Jojka, and Barb Robb, those that will help me understand what forces shaped the 21st century and history's past. I can see myself uncovering interesting relics of history in the museum of Natural History, located in Iowa City, for countless hours on end as well. I will make it imperative to share my own experiences of history from Israel with students as well, to hopefully spark an interest in their eyes to uncover their own roots. One saying that sums up the passion I have for history is: "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall," stated by Confucius.

This is a edited version of the previous essay with some minor adjustments I made to the beginning and the middle as well. Please help with anything else that is needed in your honest opinion, thank you.
gambhir kunwar 1 / 1  
Aug 18, 2011   #2
The essay you mentioned is wonderful and absouletly nice.Can you please give suggestion to improve essay writing?
OP elevit2 9 / 20  
Aug 18, 2011   #3
Gambhir, I would be happy to.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Aug 23, 2011   #4
"History has been the blood rushing within our veins that gives life support and reason for people to continue embarking on a better chapter of their lives.---I'm pretty sure the word 'on' should be in there, but not positive.

My family's past came into mind as I realized the blood, sweat, and tears my own great grandmother had to go through to survive in the war.

Before our departure, I researched the history behind Israel within many of its historical sites in order to learn how my roots are connected to the past .---Maybe this would sound better if you write 'how my roots are intertwined with Israel's past'.

I came across the University of Iowa for its unique history department.---How about, "I became interested in the University of..."?

This is pretty great actually!
Good luck with school!

:)
OP elevit2 9 / 20  
Aug 23, 2011   #5
Susan, thank you so much for the kind and inspiring words! I also thank you for your grammar advice, since I did those touch-ups. I wish you the best in your future endeavors as well, Susan. Take care,

Eddie L


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