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My interest in Marketing began at the age of six; Need to write something creative!

rko029 4 / 9  
Apr 17, 2013   #1
Dear Guys, i am looking to write a statement for applying in Marketing in a Canadian Univeristy for post graduate studies,
i am stuck with something in the statement, i want something creative to align with marketing in order to proof to the school that i am a good caliber to join them,

For example..In Physics one of my colleagues advise me what he did regarding his discipline: He wrote the below-
"When I was a tenth-grade high school student, I used to always ask my teachers: "Why do different branches of physics seem so unrelated? They must be similar to each other!", but they didn't appear to be interested in the question. I believed that I was the only person trying to find the answer until I got acquainted with a professor of theoretical physics at XX University. He told me that analogies between different areas of physics do exist and that many scientists are exploring them. I cannot forget my excitement when I talked to him and found that I wasn't alone in my attempts to solve the puzzle. Since then every step in my life brings me closer to the answer."

I want something when i was in high school affect in Marketing, i want to be proactive and how that affect my personality:

i tried to write the below, but i am not sure it is an effective one or it is a little bit ordinary:

My interest in Marketing began at the age of six, and that has happened to me when I watched the Nike Advertising Campaign "Just Do it" on T.V, the campaign was a hit in 1988, I found myself always repeat this phrase in every action I do or every situation I met. "Just Do it" was short and sweet, Yet encapsulated everything people felt when they were exercising and that feeling remains the same today, it's a human truth we all could relate to, that drive to push myself further and gives me a real sense of empowerment and inspiration, and up till now Nike is my favorite brand of running shoes, after I matured enough my curiosity led me to search for that specific campaign, I have found that Nike sales in 1988 were only $800 million, and by 1988 sales exceeded $9.2 billion because of the campaign and that has also reflected on the corporate culture and advertising approach, Nike campaign "Just Do it" is considered one of the top successful campaigns worldwide.

Note: the first pararpgrah for my personal statement is the one which the school commitee will get the impression about me.
Thanks Guys in advance for your inputs

Mmarshall876 2 / 10 3  
Apr 17, 2013   #2
I would not start with the whole "when I was a kid" bit, it is redundant and clichĂŠ, almost like "when I grow up I want to be a doctor", yes you want to be a "doctor" but why and how can you convince us that you have what it takes to become one. In my opinion, it is better to start off retelling a story to captivate the reader. So retell the commercial in a concise way and how did it make you feel? Did it compel you to consider marketing? Did it make you want to purchase the item? What was the motivation? Try and get the reader to understand that the commercial was a pivotal moment which defined your career direction today. I'm not sure if they ask you what your goals are but it would be great to find out what you plan to do with this knowledge attained in the future. Best of Luck :)

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