Firstly, just wanted to thank you for critiquing my Yale supplement essay!
comes close to the sensation that comes
Just a personal preference of mine but I don't like when the same word is used twice is such proximity. Maybe change one of the "comes"?
dwell on the possibility of there existing scientific truth
Kind of confused by what this is saying... maybe rearrange it a bit?
the possibility of powering solar panels with artificial light,
illumination with the energy provided by illumination. However, this was very short lived because the efficiency of the solar panels available was very low.
manifests itself in many ways, My volunteering
This is probably a typo, but the m should be lowercased
Overall, this essay definitely conveys your love for mathematics and the sciences. A few grammatical mistakes and my personal preference when it comes to using the same words near one another aside, this shows your interests and is well written.