"Interest in Weather"-How Education will help achieve personal and professional goals

This is the rough draft for my application essay. Just looking for any critiques or anything to help make it better

As long as I can remember I have always been interested in the weather. I can remember
waking up early in the morning just to sit and watch the weather channel for hours on end.
I love just sitting outside and watching the clouds or when the storms come rolling
through. By the age of 6 or 7 I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life studying
and forecasting the weather. To this day I still love observing the weather and trying to
make my own predictions on what will happen.

A Purdue education would achieve my personal goals of working with the National Weather
Service and becoming a meteorologist. Purdue has an excellent atmospheric sciences program
and after meeting with a few students on a visit I was convinced that Purdue gave me the
best opportunity to succeed in becoming a meteorologist. My professional goals are to pursue an atmospheric science degree and then to either continue and work towards a masters degree in the same area or to begin working with the National Weather Service or another forecasting organization.

A Purdue education would also achieve a lifelong goal of becoming a Purdue graduate. My family is filled with Purdue graduates and they have all told me stories of great times spent on campus and at the Cary Quad dormitories. I hope to continue this legacy of going to Purdue and to have my own stories to share. When I first heard about Purdue from my family members I already was interested in the weather but I had no idea that Purdue had an atmospheric science program. I was overjoyed when I found out a few years later that I was going to have the opportunity to pursue my career goals and continue the legacy of going to Purdue.

As long as I can remember, I have always been interested in the weather. I can remember
waking up early in the morning just to sit and watch the weather channel for hours on end.
I love just sitting outside and watching the clouds or storms rolling
through. By the age of 6 or 7, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life studying
and forecasting the weather. To this day, I still love observing the weather and trying to
make my own predictions on what will happen.

A Purdue education would help me achieve my personal goals of working with the National Weather
Service and becoming a meteorologist. Purdue has an excellent atmospheric sciences program,
and after meeting with a few students on a visit, I was convinced that Purdue would give me the
best opportunity to succeed in becoming a meteorologist. My professional goals are to pursue an atmospheric science degree and then to either continue and work towards a masters degree in the same area, or to begin working with the National Weather Service or another forecasting organization.(There seems to be a lot of repetitive thinking going on here; I would suggest to get rid of some details to make your essay flow better).

A Purdue education would also(help me?) achieve a lifelong goal of becoming a Purdue graduate. My family is filled with Purdue graduates and they have all told me stories of great times spent on campus and at the Cary Quad dormitories. I hope to continue this legacy of going to Purdue and having my own stories to share. When I first heard about Purdue from my family members, I already was interested in the weather, but I had no idea that Purdue had an atmospheric science program.(didn't you state this already?) I was overjoyed when I found out a few years later that I was going to have the opportunity to pursue my career goals and continue the legacy of going to Purdue. --I would change this into a more revealing you and your aspirations for the future in terms of modern context.

Otherwise, I enjoyed your essay-- Good Luck on it.

Eddie L

This is what I have reworked and added to, feel free to give suggestions on how to make better

As long as I can remember I have always been interested in the weather. I can remember
waking up early in the morning just to sit and watch the weather channel for hours on end.
I love sitting outside and watching the clouds or when the storms come rolling
through. By the age of 6 or 7 I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life studying
and forecasting the weather. To this day I still love observing the weather and trying to
make my own predictions on what will happen. At my high school there aren't many classes that deal with the natural sciences or weather so much that I have learned about the weather have been outside of the classroom. I competed in the regional science fair my junior year and earned a second place and an award of outstanding achievement from the American Meteorological Society. I have also had the opportunity to job shadow a meteorologist at a local news station my freshman year.

A Purdue education would help me achieve my professional goals are to pursue an atmospheric science degree and then to either continue and work towards a masters degree in the same area or to begin working with the National Weather Service or another forecasting organization. Purdue has an excellent atmospheric sciences program and after meeting with a few students on a visit I realized that earning a degree from Purdue University would be quite an accomplishment, and would also open many doors for me.

A Purdue education would also help me achieve a lifelong goal of becoming a Purdue graduate. My family is filled with Purdue graduates and they have all told me stories of great times spent on campus and at the Cary Quad dormitories. I hope to continue this legacy of going to Purdue and to have my own stories to share. When I first heard about Purdue from my family members I already was interested in the weather but I had no idea that Purdue had an atmospheric science program.

I have always been a big fan of Purdue sports and I can't wait to be able to become a boilermaker and be able to go all the football and basketball games and support my favorite team. I am looking forward to having the opportunity to continue my family legacy and become a Purdue graduate.