Why I am interested in becoming a nurse - send me your opinions

100 + word essay on three reasons why I am interested in becoming a nurse

I. To positively impact peoples lives while achieving a lifelong dream. I have been hospitalized three times in my life, and I know exactly how it feels to be all alone in a hospital room. I will never forget the nurses that cared for me during those times of fear and pain. These encounters only strengthened my desire to become a nurse, and to help and support others, especially those in our growing Spanish speaking culture. I can only imagine the fear and frustration of those that are hospitalized when facing difficulties in communicating their thoughts and feelings. To be able to speak to them in their own native language, and help them feel at ease and comfortable, would be a reward and a privilege. "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." Nelson Mandela. In addition, I would feel proud and accomplished knowing that I helped others by making a significant difference, and to perhaps leave a long lasting impression in someones life while fulfilling my dream.

II. Endless variety and constant change. I believe, being a nurse presents daily challenges which are unique, interesting and rewarding. I believe it provides a vast opportunity for invaluable life learning experiences. Like being in a play where every day presents different characters and there's no pre-determined plot. Also, the potential is endless in this field, from specialty areas to general population, and from newborns through geriatrics. In addition, I like the flexibility that you can live anywhere, be in any field, work with adults, children, in public health, physicians offices, and schools just to name a few. I find that nursing could be what ever I would want to make it.

III. Advancing my career. My past two positions have provided great exposure to hospitals and the clinical setting. First, working as the Office Manager for the Mother's Milk Bank in Austin Texas, I screened all donors as well as helped pasteurize donor human milk to help premature and sick babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units throughout the United States. Second, as a Certified Breastfeeding Counselor working for The Lactation Center at Banner Desert Medical Center, I was in daily contact with mothers and their newborn babies and I absolutely loved every minute of it and served to reinforce my goal of becoming a nurse. Additionally, I successfully completed the Spanish Bilingual Assistant Program for Medical Interpreters Certification. I know this is the best career move I would ever make.

You start with a sentence fragment. Not a good sign.



Ah, I see that you are starting off each paragraph as if it were a bullet point. I understand why you want to do that, but it is not a good idea. It seems like error rather than style.

Look at I, II, and III as you have them. Fix up the fragments and these are three good body paragraphs for an essay. Now write and introduction and conclusion, ideally using some sort of strong image or anecdote to draw the reader in and coming to a memorable conclusion.

would this work, you think

I am interested in becoming a nurse because I consider myself to be a compassionate person who genuinely enjoys helping people, to positively impact people's lives by making a significant difference while achieving a lifelong dream, because of it's endless variety and finally, I believe this is the best career path for me.

...

A cliched list of reasons for want to be a nurse. Not too promising . . .


The same error Simone pointed out. A stylistic choice that doesn't work. Turn this and the others into full sentences.


This is better. Personal and more specific.


Actually, your first body paragraph is turning out much better than the introduction would have led me to expect. Good quote. Don't just drop Nelson Mandela in there as its own sentence, though.



Stop with the "I believe." I know you believe these things. Otherwise, why would you be writing them?


More good specific detail.

Your essay is fairly strong, then, overall. I'd cut the intro, and fix up the topic sentences as Simone suggested, though.

Nelson Mandela once said, "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart". Perhaps one such career where I have personally experienced this so clearly is nursing. I have been hospitalized three times in my life, and I know exactly how it feels to be all alone in a hospital room. I will never forget the nurses that cared for me during those times of fear and pain. These experiences, combined with my strong desire to help and serve others and positively impact people's lives by making a significant difference makes nursing, and in particular this program, a clear career choice.

I consider myself to be a compassionate person who genuinely enjoys helping people. I can only imagine the fear and frustration of those that are hospitalized or requiring treatment when facing difficulties or the inability to communicate. Understanding them and speaking to them in their native language will prove invaluable in relieving their frustration, easing their fear and discomfort while building a strong, trusting relationship. At the same time, knowing that I helped someone in this way would provide me with a great feeling of pride and accomplishment.

Being a nurse presents daily challenges which are unique, interesting and rewarding. It provides a vast opportunity for invaluable life learning experiences; like being in a play where every day presents different characters and there's no pre-determined plot. The potential is endless in this field, from specialty areas to general healthcare, and from newborns through geriatrics. Also, I welcome the flexibility that you can live anywhere, be in any field, work with adults, children, in public health, physicians offices, and schools just to name a few. I find that nursing could be whatever I would want to make it.

My past two positions have provided great exposure to hospitals and the clinical setting. First, working as the Office Manager for the Mother's Milk Bank in Austin Texas, I screened all donors as well as helped pasteurize donor human milk to help premature and sick babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units throughout the United States . Second, as a Certified Breastfeeding Counselor working for The Lactation Center at Banner Desert Medical Center , I was in daily contact with mothers and their newborn babies and I absolutely loved every minute of it and served to reinforce my goal of becoming a nurse. Additionally, I successfully completed the Spanish Bilingual Assistant Program for Medical Interpreters Certification. I know this is the best career move I would ever make.

To summarize, being a nurse, specifically a bilingually trained nurse, would afford me endless variety and constantly changing experiences as well as the unique opportunity to significantly impact people's lives, potentially leaving a positive long-lasting impression, particularly in our growing Spanish speaking culture. Additionally, bilingual nursing would offer me a challenging and rewarding opportunity to leverage my past healthcare training and experience, providing an economically stable career while pursuing a lifelong dream.