Why are you interested in The College of Wooster? (250 words)
There are two reasons
There are mainly two reasons why I am interested in College of Wooster. The reasons are liberal arts experience boosted by IS mentor program and international diversity.
To begin with, I believe that the liberal arts experience boosted by IS mentor program will prepare me for becoming a consultant by improving my ability to communicate logically. When I was in high school, I went through a mentored research. I often went to ask the teacher about the questions regarding how to construct my idea. From discussing and revising, I improved the skills to write and speak logically. From this experience, it is clear that I would be able to improve my skills to communicate logically through mentored research.
Secondly, the international diversity of the college is another hallmark that draws me to College of Wooster. My family moved 5 times due to my father's international assignments. Having enjoyed the interaction with people from different culture and backgrounds, I am really interested in the fact that international students compromise ten percent of the whole student body. Moreover, they come from over 40countries. I believe that I will learn a lot from interacting with people who share different cultures and backgrounds.
In conclusion, from the following reasons, College of Wooster is a really nice environment for a prospective consultant who wants to work internationally because it offers an environment where I can study with like-minded students from all over the globe who want to improve their skills to communicate logically.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478
Teddy, I suggest that you revise your paragraph that explains how the IS mentor program can benefit you. The reason I am recommending this change is because you have focused the discussion on the way that the mentor program benefited you in high school. While I can understand the connection, the prompt is asking you about why you chose this college in particular. In order to respond to that question properly, you should instead show how you understand the mentor program of the college functions in relation to your chosen major. The reference to your high school mentor experience should only be an overview that indicates how you already have previous mentor experience and that is what caused you to be excited by this particular program at Wooster. Say something about how you imagine how similar the experience might be for you having come from a previous mentor experience.
Next, the paragraph about diversity works, but it could work better if you remove the reference to the percentage of foreign students at the university. While that information was of interest to you, it is irrelevant to the reviewer. If you remove that reference, the statement gains more traction in terms of explaining how that became one of the major reasons for your decision to apply for admission to Wooster.
I suggest you to choose only one significant reason and explain it rather than giving some reasons without proper explanation of them. I suggest you to make it like this because in this case you have limit in words only 250.
Thank you very much for the comments and advice to my essays.
I felt that I should focus on international diversity because it is much significant.
Thus, I will try to reconstruct my essay.