Why are you interest in this major?
Why am I interested in Computer Engineering? I have never given it many thoughts before; however, when I sat down in front of my computer to write this essay, the reasons leapt right into my head as fast as a speeding bullet. In our technology demanding world, computer is one of the most important instruments. It helps link the world together by communication and provide quick information and news, whether from how to make pancakes or to how to build a miniature airplane. When I was eleven years old, my first computer broke, so I went to my uncle, an electronic repairer, to get my computer fix. I saw him open apart my desktop computer. With a few minutes to analyze, he found the problem. It was my cooler that has stopped working because it was burnt. As he replaces a new fan and some parts, he briefly described to me every computer parts and its function. You wouldn't believe how fast I learn it. From that day on, I spent a lot of times with my uncle until I left Vietnam to move to United State. I promised him that I will become a computer specialist, and that one day I will teach him new information about computer as he have taught me when I was young. I am interested in this major because I want to improve, create, and manufacture computer's components that will improve computer performances and make computer more convenient to use. I strongly believe that Drexel University will guide me and provide me with intelligence that I need to succeed.
I need someone to help me revise this paragraph and paraphrase it so it seems scholarly. This is my first written draft. So what do you guys think?