Essay Option 4. Argonne National Laboratory and Fermilab (both national laboratories managed by the University of Chicago) have particle accelerators that smash bits of atoms together at very high energies, allowing particles to emerge that are otherwise not part of the everyday world. These odd beasts - bosons, pi mesons, strange quarks - populated the universe seconds after the Big Bang, and allow their observers to glimpse the fabric of the universe. Put two or three ideas or items in a particle accelerator thought experiment. Smash 'em up. What emerges? Let us glimpse the secrets of the universe newly revealed.
(The room is dark. Slowly the lights rise and applause is heard from the audience. There are four old men dressed in white suits and spouting magnificent white moustaches sit dignified in the middle of the room, with a box which resembles a microwave sitting in front of them. A man in a black suit stands on a podium to the side. He waits for the applause to die away.)
The Host: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen! I'm The Host and you're watching The Show!
Today, we have bought together a team of scientists whom have been working on a machine which they believe could revolutionise the world. Professor, over to you then?
Scientist 1: Affirmative. Well, here is the contraption our team has been working on for the past 24 years. Like a particle accelerator, it uses electric fields to propel electrically charged particles to high speeds and contain them; however unlike a normal particle accelerator, the fields are polarised through a Klameraton spectrum so ideas instead of particles are driven through the tube and amalgamated together forming entirely new entities possessing the very qualities of the ideas it is composed of.
S 2: Today we will attempt to create a new homo sapien. Each of us will choose the one quality we believe is the most important, and we will fuse it together using the Klameraton accelerator. Think Frankenstein, except we will be using ideas instead of human tissue. The aim of this experiment is to create the perfect homo sapien, also known as the human being.
(Gasps from the audience)
S 3: Shall we get started then?
S 1: Affirmative. As a scientist, I believe that an innovative spirit is imperative for any successful homo sapien. Without a certain amount of creativity, development will stagnate. Scientists seem to have the nasty reputation of always going by the book, however we are amongst the most creative assemblage of people out there. The quality that distinguishes geniuses from others is that one spark of inspiration; that one spark which could light a whole fire, setting the world alight with its magnificence. I wish for our homo sapien to possess this quality.
S 4: So i-n-n-o-v-a-t-i-v-e--s-p-i-r-i-t is it? Hmmph there we go, there we go!
S 2: (thinking.) Loyalty is the quality I will pick. Loyalty to your cause and to your associates and friends. One of the intrinsic values of humanity is loyalty, the supreme moral good as the philosopher Josiah Royce once said.
S 4: l-o-y-a-l-t-y...ahh the velocity is increasing at a magnificent rate. No doubt it will surpass that of light.
(The four scientists share a joke. They laugh out loud. Spittle can be seen exiting their mouth.)
S 3: That was a delightful joke, absolutely splendid.
S 2: No doubt. S 3, if you will.
S 3: Ah yes. A quality for our prototype homo sapien. What shall I choose eh? But there are so many qualities I value; humility, courage, diligence, intelligence, beauty even. Ah I discern. An insatiable passion for knowledge. This passion will be what motivates him to great things; the fuel to his fire perhaps.
S 4: p-a-s-s-i-o-n-f-o-r-k-n-o-w-l-e-d-g-e. My turn then. I have been trying to formulate a list since we commenced working on this project. A list for the qualities I deem worthy of our subject. At the top of this list I placed determination. Our subject will never reach his goal without this.
(types it in)
S 1: Lets fire her up then! Round and round we go...they're gaining velocity! Once it reaches the speed of light...
S 4: Yes I know, I shall release all the energy of it to collide. We have been through this before!
(Intense flash of white light resembling Neuralyzers from Men in Black. )
The Host: Well that was unexpected! Wasn't it now? Did everyone get their sunglasses on in time?
(Mumbles from the audience. It seems they have all fallen over.)
Well...never mind that! On with the show! Will you read out the analysis, S 1?
S 1 (reads): ...Subject has been successfully created with the chosen qualities. He has a love for sports, excellent analytical ability, generosity of spirit, sufficient intellect and a bright mind, along with a rebellious streak that may cause him trouble. However, side effects include: pride which may stem from his achievements and hinder judgement, possible jealousy due to excessive loyalty...
(shrieks and cries from the scientists)
S 2: This is horrible...
S 1 (continues reading): ... a knack for procrastination which may see him work up to the deadline on projects (and miss it for some), occasional laziness which may see him underachieve, a bad temper, tendency to curse inappropriately...
S 3 (frantically tearing out hair): We have created a monster, an abomination of nature!
S1: ...and short sightedness.
S 4: This prototype is a failure. An utter failure! Our project is a failure. 24 years spent...all for nothing...
S 2: How can we live with ourselves now, knowing what we have created?
(Member of audience raises hand.)
Audience: Well uhh sir, professor sir...isn't the goal of your experiment thing to make a person?
(Scientists nod their heads slowly, still looking downcast.)
Well...aren't you scientists? Ermm...shouldn't you know this? I know there must be a law for this somewhere...
(Thinks)
didn't that guy Newton make it up?
(Scientists still seem puzzled.)
Uhhh well...I'm sure I watched it somewhere before...Nevermind that. What was it again..? Oh yes...noone's perfect...
Curtain.
What do you guys think?
Its for my chicago app. They had a wacky question so i tried to do an equally wacky response. Do you guys think it works? Or does it sound too pretentious? Cocky?
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I'm applying to Chicago too! Good luck!
Anyways,
"ideas it is composed of."
Of what?
Also "a knack for procrastination which may see him work up to the deadline on projects" and "However, side effects include: pride which may stem from his achievements and hinder judgementjudgment, possible jealousy due to excessive loyalty..." sounds like you are referring to yourself. Not sure if that is good.
I would re-read the essay for grammar mistakes (I don't have the time now). I like the format, but I think you should elaborate on the idea a bit more. Make it sound more intellectual and complex, but understandable at the same time.
Good luck!
I would b more conservative, usually, but I do agree that a wacky question deserves a wacky response. you did very well with it! Can you add a reflective sentence at the end that tells the theme of the essay, the implications of outcome of the experiment?
Also:
There are four old men dressed in white suits and sporting magnificent white mustach es; they sit dignified in the middle of the room with a box that resembles a microwave directly in front of them. A man in a black suit stands on a podium to the side. He waits for the applause to die away.)
