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My interests do not match up with those of my peers; Transfer Reasons/Objectives


temberger93 3 / 12 1  
Feb 18, 2013   #1
Thoughts on this? Any editing/help is appreciated.

PROMPT: Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

The mood at a Washington, D.C. college campus can be described as one that is permeated by passion and fervor for political activism and organizing. The students at The George Washington University are almost entirely dedicated to activism and politics on a level that rivals even the most active K Street lobbying firm or interest group. The great political battles of the modern era are being fought by the idealistic and passionate students that occupy my peer group. While it is true that seeing such battles take place is exciting, during my time studying in the nation's capitol I have discovered that my interests do not match up with those of my peers, as I do not share the passion with which they engage themselves. Rather, I have discovered that my interest is in the rigorous study of the plethora of issues with which George Washington University students rush into a headstrong confrontation. Ultimately, I would describe my reason for transferring as a desire to separate myself from the heated politics of the capitol which often impede critical consideration and evaluation of one's positions in favor of accomplishing already established political goals or seeing initially held beliefs vindicated.

Academics at The George Washington University have assuredly provided me with intellectual challenges and insight that I will carry with me in the future. The professors and faculty are academically inclined scholars often engaged in interesting research. However, due to the geographical placement of the university, less emphasis is placed on engaging with faculty members in their academic pursuits in favor of emphasis on pursuing opportunities for political activism. For those who believe strongly in their political ideals, this situation is preferable, as much of the student body at the university is very interested in political activism. While I have a passion and desire to engage in politics in the future, I believe that undergraduate study should focus heavily on academics and research, and my goals moving forward will be in pursuit of this belief.

For the remainder of my undergraduate career, my goal is to pursue an understanding of the various facets of politics, particularly disciplines which often find their way into politics such as economics, history, and law. While I cannot deny the appeal of engaging directly in politics to affect systemic change, I find that such engagement amounts to a distraction from the study of topics which are meant to inform such activism. I feel that before I invest large amounts of time into political activism in any form I should develop an informed worldview that is adequate enough to impact the positive change that is so coveted by youthful idealism. Like every passionate activist at my current university, I am eager to pursue political change. However,I feel that as an undergraduate I should first pursue an understanding of the relevant subjects in politics through research and study such that the activism in which I engage will be based on accumulated knowledge as opposed to preconceived notions.
Aldo111 2 / 4  
Feb 19, 2013   #2
It's a pretty good essay. Just a suggestion, maybe re-word certain sentences? On first read, lines like "However, due to the geographical placement of the university, less emphasis is placed on engaging with faculty members in their academic pursuits in favor of emphasis on pursuing opportunities for political activism." came across as more of a criticism than a plus point.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 19, 2013   #3
While it is true that seeing such battles take place is exciting

While it is true such battles are an exciting experience,

as I do not share the passion with which they engage themselves

as I don't share the same passion as they do. ... I feel it is implied since you mentioned about it in the earlier sentence

On first read, lines like "However, due to the geographical placement of the university, less emphasis is placed on engaging with faculty members in their academic pursuits in favor of emphasis on pursuing opportunities for political activism." came across as more of a criticism than a plus point.

This is a good comment by Aldo... I wish you pay attention to this point :)
Overall, I find this is a good essay and you sound very genuine with your reasoning. However, make sure that they (selectors) don't feel that you are more inclined towards theory and not practicals :)
OP temberger93 3 / 12 1  
Mar 1, 2013   #4
Thanks very much, but I'm unclear about that comment. It is kind of a criticism. It's a good thing, but too much of a good thing. At least this is what I'm attempting to communicate.


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