please do the required changes and add-ons
cheers
santosh :)
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
I, Darasani Santosh Kumar wish to pursue my study at your esteemed school. To enable you to assess me, I present this testimony which contemplates my academic background and my goals.
I grew up in a very competitive environment right through my childhood .I was one among the selected few to gain an admission in 1st standard in one of the most prestigious academic institutions -The Montessori High School. This excellent schooling I received during the formative years of my life spur me to excel at academics. I always had a keen interest in films, my first introduction to the field of films at school, At that times I used to develop various stage characters which gradually brought me recognition in the campus and Inter-college festivals. I also lead our team as a "Head of Cultural Activities and Sports" (just to mention I was the captain of the football team) at our university events. The encouragement and praise I received from teachers and parents alike further strengthened my resolve. This sense of identification propelled my interest towards film making.
Later in India, at Hyderabad, I enrolled in International Academy of Computer Graphics and successfully finished the program, SAM {Specialization in Advanced Multimedia}.Here I was trained for 3D and composting software's. During this period I and my team developed 3 short films of which one was nominated in a regional film festival, Madras. But I really depressed about my professional skills which were lacking at that time. Expertise is must or else I will be unable to appeal in this competitive world. These made me more active and drive into many events like "The International animation day "2008 and 2009 of Asia held in Hyderabad, Where I represented our team on the behalf of my college. But still the education provides the required skill and opportunities. So I decided to pursue One year practical filmmaking. I want to learn about the film industry in a comprehensive way, How they are formed from the ground-up and why the brilliant directors like Stephen Spielberg do the things they do, who have achieved the critical and commercial success. For all these I need a place where I can educate myself and I believe ***** school is that place which can provide me the platform to arise and excel in my endeavors. The first thing that attracted me to this institute is its excellent module, And also the location of the school, which is at***** studious.
I, Darasani Santosh Kumar, wish to pursue my study at your esteemed school. To enable you to assess me, I present this testimony which contemplates my academic background and my goals.
I was one among the selected few to gain an admission into the 1st standard in one of the most prestigious academic institutions -The Montessori High School.
This excellent schooling I received during the formative years of my life spur me to excel atin academics.
I always had a keen interest in films,and my first introduction to the field of films happened while I was at school,.At that timesDuring school days I used to develop various stage characters which gradually broughtearned me recognition in the campus and Inter-college festivals.
The encouragement and praise I received from teachers and parents alike further strengthened my resolve. --------------You capitalize on indirect speech for writing. I think direct speech is more effective and reader friendly. For example;
My parents and teachers equally encouraged me that helped strengthen my interests in the film industry.
first of thanks for the reply
can u correct the whole thing for me pleaseeeeeeeeee
cheers
santosh
Let me see how I can help you;
I, Darasani Santosh Kumar wish to pursue my study at your esteemed school. To enable you to assess me, I present this testimony which contemplates my academic background and my goals.---------I personally feel this is not a friendly start from the reader's perspective. It sounds a bit too distant and official. I would suggest you;
I wish to pursue my higher studies at your esteemed institution which, in my belief, has the capability to help me accomplish my goals;
Later in India, at Hyderabad, I enrolled injoined the International Academy of Computer Graphics and successfully finished the program, SAM {Specialization in Advanced Multimedia}.Here I was trained forrecieved training on 3D and composting software's. During this period I and my team developed 3 short films, out of which one wasgot nominated in for a regional film festival held in Madras. ButHowever at that time I reallyhad beendepressedworried(I prefer the word "worried" instead of "depressed") about the level of my professional skills which were lackingI felt as insufficientat that time . Expertise is a must or else I will not be un able to appeal in this competitive worldoutsmart my competitors . These feelings made me more active and drivedrove my attentioninto participating inmany events likesuch as "The International animation day "2008 and 2009 of Asia held in Hyderabad, W where I represented our team on the behalf of my college. But still the education provides the required skill and opportunities.(this sentence (Bold) confuses the reader. Are you trying to say "However, I felt the requirement of further studies to develop required skills to capture the opportunities in the industry".) So I decided to pursue One yeara practical filmmaking course of one year . Now I want to learn about the film industry in a comprehensive waydepth;Hh ow theymovies are formed from the ground-up and why the brilliant directors like Stephen Spielberg do the things they do, who have achieved the critical and commercial success been so successful. For all theseIn order to acquire this knowledge and skills I need ato find the right place for mewhere I can educate myself and I believe ***** school is that place which can possesses capabilities in every respect to provide meits students the platform to arise and excel in my endeavorstheir learning process such as its excellent module, location,...,etc.is the best choice for me . The first thing that attracted me to this institute is its excellent module, And also the location of the school, which is at***** studious.
thanx a lot :)
