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'international influence on the Macalester campus' - Macalester Supplement

eryic 2 / 4  
Jan 8, 2012   #1
This is my essay, of the prompt What factors have led you to consider Macalester College? Why do you believe it may be a good match, and what do you believe you can add to the Mac community, academically and personally? I'm new to writing essays - this is my second, the first being my Common App essay. Third if you include the ACT haha. Keep this in mind! These types of essays are very foreign to me. I'm struggling with tone and wordiness throughout this.

I WILL edit your in return, because I so appreciate any and all tips. Getting into Macalester would mean the world to me, and I feel like I need a great essay to do so. Thanks in advance :)

I hadn't so much as heard about Macalester College until approximately two months ago; I regrettably began my college search a touch late. After becoming frustrated with slow-moving high school classes and sluggish individuals, I decided I wanted to surround myself with exactly the opposite. Internet research led me to Macalester College, and I've had a slight obsession with it ever since my discovery. My ideal college from the get-go was something in the Twin Cities, high academics, and not too large; discovering Macalester was the holy grail.

The international influence on the Macalester campus would enhance my degree in an intangible yet important manner. I plan to study economics, and potentially take this into business. With all business now being international, especially in the finance sector, a head start of interacting with other cultures on campus for four years would do wonders. In addition, other cultures are fascinating to me; my recent trip to Europe reinforced this. Spending two and a half weeks traveling around Western Europe, experiencing culture shock from my humble Minnesota upbringings in foreign countries was a living dream. Interrogating the few foreign exchange students at my high school has always been a rather annoying habit of mine, dependent on the viewpoint; Macalester would offer me plenty more positive pestering opportunities. Improving my knowledge of Spanish is also something I look forward to doing, especially with the potential of communicating with native Spanish speakers on a daily basis. Macalester's multiculturalism would be huge for my education, making Mac a good match for me.

The strength of Macalester's academics also leads me to believe Macalester would be a good match. I truly look forward to extending my education and broadening my knowledge, as corny and cliché as that may sound! High school has provided me with a decent education thus far, but obviously there is more to learn, and things high school has failed to teach: for example, narrative essays. This essay, along with my Common Application essay, are the first two narrative essays I've written in high school. I look forward to receiving a broad liberal arts education, along with my studies in economics. Also, the academic strength of the student body at Macalester is hugely appealing to me-as stated in my intro, I want to surround myself with highly intelligent, dedicated people. As my English teacher and Macalester alumni Jason Richardson said: "At (name omitted) State University, you may have ten to fifteen people out of thirty in a class that are intelligent and want to be there; at (name omitted) University there may be five. At Macalester, it's thirty out of thirty."

As far as the Mac community goes, I feel comfortable saying I will be able to add a variety of new ideas to classroom and social settings. With respect to other's opinions and ideas, I am not afraid to speak my mind-even if I'm the only person in the room who feels that way. This has caused debates against me in the past, but no matter. In the wise words of Elie Wiesel: "...to remain silent and indifferent is the greatest sin of all." In a less philosophical sense, I would be able to athletically add to the Macalester community via golf. Golf has been my passion since I first picked up a plastic Fisher-Price club at the age of eighteen months. Playing golf at the collegiate level is and always has been a dream of mine. Unfortunately, my abilities are not worthy of playing at any sort of Division I school, so playing at a Division III level and receiving a great education at a smaller college would be the perfect combination.

To wrap things up, Macalester College would be the perfect setting for me. The multiculturalism of the community would greatly prepare me for the working world ahead. High academics and smart surroundings are something I've dreamed of having after frustration during certain dull high school settings. Bringing new ideas to the table, as well as golf, are two things I can bring to the Macalester community. All of these factors combine for Macalester to be the right place for my college education.
egpctim 5 / 10  
Jan 8, 2012   #2
I think that your essay is very well-written, but like the other guy said, very generic. Does your description of the college really just match Macalester?

Also, definitely take out the first two sentences. You don't want the admissions guy to think you started your research late, and it doesn't help your essay.
timurmukhtarov 2 / 4  
Jan 8, 2012   #3
I would suggest to work a bit more with introduction and conclusion. Try to write several variants and choose the best out of them.

Also, It felt to me that your points can be applied to other colleges. Are there things that you find unique in Macalester?

What would be also great to see is something that only you could write. For example, a campus visit or particular people (like your english teacher). That can make your essay truly unique.

This is a great writing. There is no such thing as a perfect writing, so just do your best!

Good luck with your application. I hope you will get into the college of your dream!
katrina93 1 / 2  
Jan 9, 2012   #4
I think your essay is too long.
And I just know how perfect mac from your essay, but i am not sure mac is so fit to you.
I think you should focus on the combination of your own capability with mac.Just focus on 1-2 points of this school may be good.

Hope this could help you.

I will apply mac too.
good luck for both of us.
runhenry 4 / 5  
Jan 14, 2012   #5
Macalester is a good match for me for a multitude of reasons.---deleted
It's a really good essay, show your passion and personal traits. you will be a good match for them for sure.

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