Im currently at Pasadena City College hoping to transer to UC Davis, Riverside, or San Diego for International Relations. Tell me what you think and please be brutal. (especially about content and subject matter. I can always fix grammatical errors later.) Thanks guys.
PROMPT #1 - What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed. Describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities. What have you gained from your involvement?
As I shuffled through a group of students down an old and uneven cobble stone street I could hear the passer-bys speaking softly, much softer than my American companions, in languages that I did not understand. I was in the streets of Cesky Krumlov in the Czech Republic on tour with my high school choir group. These sounds and images sparked a profound feeling of the great history that this place must have seen. A history that was never taught to us in school but that still had the power to captivate. I gazed up at the tall buildings that leaned and loomed over us to the balcony of an old restaurant where a man sat surveying the view. I wondered what he was taught in school and what his own life had taught him about this part of the world. I knew that one day when this was all over I would have to return to this place. What I did not know was that when I did it would not be as a tourist, but as someone who could understand the whispers that I heard on the streets and what those people saw in the cities that they lived in. I would have dedicated my life to understanding this and many other cultures and what role they play in the modern world. I would have majored in International Relations.
Europe gave me a hunger and passion for knowledge of different worlds but it was my life's study of philosophy that gave me the direction in which to steer that passion. Since I was a little boy I was exposed to tribal drum sessions, Hindu art and culture, and Asian philosophy from my parents and the western schools of thought from classes in high school and college. I have taken German courses and loved the language and culture. One particular course I took in philosophy changed my life. One day our professor was lecturing on Plato's Republic, comparing the different tiers of society to those of a farmland. He explained that the sheep and the shepherd were the workforce and the authority that directed them respectively. The wolves were those who would come from beyond the farm's territory to destroy and exploit the sheep. The sheepdogs were those who used their knowledge of the wolves to defend the sheep and protect the fruits of the farm. It was then that I knew that I wanted to be a sheepdog. I wanted to learn the ways of the different cultures of the world and how they interact with one another to work towards conflict resolution without war. The conflicts of today's nations are fundamentally conflicts of different philosophies and my training with these philosophies would allow me to see both sides to any conflict and to apply that talent to resolve our conflicts with the wolves. This is the way of the modern warrior. Given that there are many different kinds of warriors in today's world (some wear uniforms and carry weapons and some go unnoticed while fighting with information and influence) they all share the mindset of the sheepdog. Lt. Col. Dave Grossman in his book entitled On Combat: The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and in Peace wrote, "Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference."
Good morning :)
I think you've got a great response here. You describe the event and it's result (your career choice), but I don't really see a strong connection to what you gained from that event. It sounds like you have always had a background and an interest that would suit you for international relations, but what was it specifically about this trip that was beneficial to you? Once you expound upon that a bit more, I think this will be a great submission. Good work.
Regards,
Gloria
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