Being an applicant from Kazakhstan I was deeply surprised when I found that Boston University has the largest international undergraduate population in the U.S. It is one of the main factors that appeal to me because I am an international student and it will be easier for me to adapt . Since then I visited BU website obsessively, probably twice a day at least for the last three months, and found even more attractive factors such as the low student-teacher ratio, Nobel Prize winners, renowned scholars and professionals, Groundbreaking research facilities. In addition I look forward to taking advantage of profound core curriculum and London and Paris Internship Programs in the Arts offered in the College of Art and Sciences. And the last but not the least, with 500 campus clubs, I will be able to try new things no matter of the content, be it The Photography Club or Altyn Orda Club.
(I am not sure if I should use the part in bold, but I really want to tell them that I care about diverse student body. or should i just use this: when choosing University that fits me well)
Appreciate any comments))
My biggest concern about this essay is the lack of focus. You mentioned alot of things that you liked about the school. To me, there is a like of depth. Is there one thing in particular that you liked? I really think you should just focus on one thing
Thanks for your comments, I thought I should tell about many different factors that motivated me to apply. But what I really like is that it is truly international university with about 5000 students from all over the world. it just my draft, so any additional advice would be appreciated.
Here's the thing:
You say you visited the website obsessively, twice a day (will they believe it)
and the list of things you like sounds just as though you copied it from the website.
They want you to be passionate,
if you are passionate about international students,
then you should focus on that.
And do not say it will be easier to adapt, this sounds bad.
Say something how you appreciate diversity.
Check out my essay, thanks.
