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An intl's commonapp essay about an exchange year, corrections & suggestions?

theatrics 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2010   #1
Hello guys! A girl from a small European country Latvia is planning to apply to the US colleges. See, if you help me we may even meet next year :D The thing is I'm getting pretty desperate because the deadline is so soon and I still have so much to do. I really really need your help on deciding about the title and section of my essay. Any corrections are strongly encouraged too. :) Thank you in advance! :))) And have a nice and merry Christmas!

Probably because of the challenging pronunciation or the great memories associated with it, from the five languages I have had the chance to learn, I find Danish the most precious to me. I remember my first words of Danish: ''Kaere vaertsfamile,'', the line I started with, when I wrote the letter to my host family. Nearly...

Close your eyes. Imagine four and a half millions of happy people saying something with a large potato stuck in their throats. I am now proud to be one of them.

''Kaere vaertsfamile,'', were my first words in Danish and the line I started with, when I wrote the letter to my host family. Nearly two years have passed, since I sent the letter to Denmark. My Danish now, of course, has improved dramatically, but it was not only the language, which made me now consider myself half Danish. The experiences I gained and the lessons I learnt, while getting acquainted with the language and traditions, were the ones that actually made the Danish culture to become the most precious of all I have had a chance to learn.

''Those nasty Danes! How come that I should not think that I am good or useful at anything?'' were my complaints addressed to Janteloven- the traditional Danish equity laws. Janteloven was completely opposite to what my parents have always taught me and annoyed me to the bottom of my heart. But then, after experiencing the laws at the Danish school and ''home'', I suddenly realized that the illusion of equity it provides is actually extremely beneficial to everyone, including myself too. Not only it eliminates the silly hierarchy present in most of workplaces and schools I have had a chance to attend, but also allows speaking up my opinion without fearing to insult someone and somehow makes it easier to receive critics as well.

My favorite Danish philosopher Kierkegaard's most memorable quote for me for me is: ''Take a chance and you may lose. Take not a chance and you have lost already.'' In this quote he illustrated the Danish ''tro''- the most important concept I learnt during my exchange. Thanks to it, I have done a lot more, than most people would expect. It gave me the ability to try, even if the chances do not appear that great. Without this Danish Viking spirit I would have never been able to keep studying at the senior year at Latvian school, which even the most optimistic of my classmates believed was impossible. But I dared to go against all the odds and took a chance, which was consequently rewarded by a success.

The freedom, that the combination of ''tro'' and ''Janteloven'' gave my life was enlightening and made me start being the master of my own life and success. It made me make decisions and get myself involved in activities that mattered to me, instead of complaining about the people and circumstances around me, that prevent me from doing what I wish to do. Therefore my approach to life can now well be described as simply Danish - proud about successes around me, yet a little modest about myself, realistic and definitely hopeful.

I do not think I would have ever arrived to such philosophy, if Australians, Americans, Japans and Brazilians and, most of all, Danes I met during my exchange year would not have contributed with their thoughts and advice. It is now clear to me that the opinions of other people around me, like friends, family members, teachers and other students are the ones that have built my personality and values. All in all, the most important inference I have made about my exchange year, is that diversity of thoughts and experiences matters more than we think. It brings peace, wisdom and understanding to everyone who embraces it. This diversity is certainly one of the things I can truly offer and something that I would really like to gain in return, hopefully from your college.
peirui422 3 / 4  
Dec 26, 2010   #2
maybe i'm wrong, but you could improve this essay by adding some more of your characteristics.

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