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Introduction my family and myself


Afshin 1 / -  
Dec 25, 2021   #1
I was born in the average family with six members, my parents, my brother and my sisters. My father was teacher and my mother was a housewife. I am the smallest of members of my family. My brother is computer engineering and my first sister is housewife and another sister is building engineering.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989  
Dec 25, 2021   #2
family with six members

The reader will automatically count your parents as a set of 2 persons. The rest of the family members need to be indicated by number as well. How many brothers? Sisters? Are there extended family members? This reference needs to have better clarity.

My father was teacher

You forgot to use the connecting word "a" in reference to the former occupation of your father. You remember to use the connecting word for your mother though. You cannot use the connecting word intermittently.

I am the smallest of

Smallest refers to height or size. Perhaps you mean "youngest" in reference to your age ranking in the family?

My brother is computer engineering

This your brother's occupation. The person who works in this field is known as a "computer engineer". That is the professional description of what your brother does for a living. The same error exists for the reference to your sister's job as an engineer.

my first sister

Oldest sister.
animishg 1 / 2  
Dec 26, 2021   #3
Work on the improvements Holt suggested. However, I also suggest you rewrite this paragraph in a more concise manner for the reader to keep along. Use some connecting words between the sentences to add rhythm.


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