Hi guys, I am applying to TU Delft. Therefore, before submit my personal statement, I need feedback about my ideas organization and coherency. Besides, I want to add words on this essay and I really appreciate if you could provide me suggestion the ideas in which need more extent. All of your feedbacks means a lot for me.
application for TU Delft
The adequacy of energy is paramount for one's country. Indonesia as a developing country with the population of over 250 million will indeed require immense energy needs to support its development. The broad usage of hydrocarbon as one of energy resource and industrial commodity has covered various sectors, such as agricultural, industrial, electricity, manufacture, and transportation. That being said Indonesian used to export oil to fulfill world consumption. However, our current oil productions only suffice to accommodate half of domestic needs. Thus, I find that energy defense is one of the most crucial problems of my country. As far as I concern Indonesia is not lack of energy resources since there are a lot of potential that can be optimized. In fact, there are 128 basins throughout Indonesia, yet only 72 basins have been explored. Led the exploration activities is part of my career aspiration in the future. I realize that I have to pass through certain career path to achieve my goal. Accordingly, I seek to enhance my education and I firmly confident that by studying at your faculty will then help me to gain strong competence in Petroleum and Geoscience field of study before I ultimately come back and contribute in my home country and realizing this dream.
I earned my Bachelor's degree in Geophysical Engineering at University of Pembangunan Nasional Veteran Yogyakarta whereas I studied from 2011 to 2015 at the Faculty of Mineral Technology. I choose to study Geophysical Engineering for two reasons. The first is that during high school, physics was my favorite subject. In addition, I read a lot of books about the earth that caught my interest beyond school time. Secondly, Geophysical Engineering is an interdisciplinary field of study with a broad prospective career opportunity.
After 4 years of studying, I graduated with honor cum Laude predicate for CGPA 3.53 and received "Karya Cendekia" The Outstanding Graduate Awards. My final assignment with 4 credits entitled Analysis of Reservoir Distribution Using Spectral Decomposition Method on Baturaja Formation, North West Java Basin. I selected spectral decomposition method due to the ability to separate the seismic events in every seismic trace based on its frequency content. The principle of this method was to decompose the seismic trace from the time domain into the frequency domain representation. In this study, the seismic trace was decomposed using Gabor-Morlet wavelet transform. The extraction result of such attributes was expected to know the value of the corresponding frequency at which could show the presence Direct Hydrocarbon Indicator as bright amplitude. The first stage is the zone of interest was determined from well logs and tied to seismic data as preliminary interpretation. Afterward, the zone of interest and any structural faults mapped throughout the seismic data. Meanwhile, the seismic data need to be scanned to obtain the frequency content as it functioned as lower and upper-frequency limit. After that, the seismic data were decomposed into several sub-band seismic volumes using Octave scale. Every sub-band seismic then extracted into envelope attribute to show the bright amplitude and analyzed it with the data logs interpretation of every production wells as justification. Ultimately, the selected sub-band seismic extracted into RMS attribute map to identify the prospective zone.
My main motivation to apply for TU Delft is because it is a reputable and leading university in the development of technology and science. TU Delft reinforces exceptional research and education standards with the support of outstanding facilities and research institute. It can be seen that TU Delft emerge many remarkable alumni contribute to the development of various geological discoveries in Indonesia, for instance, Reinout Willem van Bemmelen. Besides, the university promotes creative and independent thinking with a focus on problem solving, and also emphasizing in a good balance between theories and practice which in accordance with my need. In addition, your university provides Petroleum Engineering and Geosciences, which in accordance with my interest for the track of studies. Besides, TU Delft maintains close links with international industry so that offers ample opportunity for me to carry out research, projects, and internship or final thesis within a company.
I prefer to choose Reservoir Geology as my proposed specialization because it is not only concentrated in computational method but also involves a geological concept to understand the process behind reservoir rocks. The geological concept is important in analyzing geological target and to determine a further method to be applied. Without a solid geological concept, all the maps, colors, numbers from the measurement will not represent anything. Thus, the integration of all will provide a representative and reliable geological model.
If I could choose the topic, geomechanics for reservoir analysis is the topic that I would like to explore. Indonesia is one of the tectonically active regions in the world which influenced the mechanical properties of the reservoir rock. This analysis will assist in making representative geological and reservoir modeling. I would like to integrate the several data which might require such as structural geology, seismic data, logs data, and pore pressure. This method is expected to help in the plan of development to obtain the optimum result.
Another alternative topic for my future thesis project can be a research of unconventional reservoir modeling. Indonesia has the potential of unconventional reservoir whereas none of them are developed yet. Sooner or later the conventional reservoir would be scarce. Meanwhile, the unconventional reservoir provides abundant of hydrocarbon accumulation which can be one solution to maintaining Indonesia's energy defense.
Through geoscience, I wanted to provide more reliable and cost efficient solution in exploration and field development. In the larger scope, it will contribute to downscale the energy crisis in my country. From my personal perspective, even though oil prices drop-off, this moment, however, will be the right time to invest in human development through education and research. These resources will play a huge part in assisting the future prospective development when the market has risen. With my head up high, I am proud to apply to this university, while hoping for the greatest when I eventually entering a life changing adventure up ahead.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Zaki, this is a tremendously long personal statement. You have not left any stone unturned in your essay. In this case, that is not a good thing. The personal statement went overboard and ended up becoming a statement of purpose instead. Since this is an application for a masters degree (if I am not mistaken), then you need to remove a number of portions from this personal essay because those discussions belong to the statement of purpose instead. Rather than telling you what to remove from this essay, I will allow you to review your essay so that you can remove or retain the parts that you feel are important to your personal statement. I will however, explain to you what the content of your personal statement should be.
The personal statement should accomplish one thing alone. That is to prove the development of your interest in this particular field of study. Now, since you are no longer a college student, the development of this interest should be reflected mainly within your professional experience. The reference to your college studies should be minimal in this instance. A focus on your relevant internships and career development as now will serve to prove the logical considerations for your higher study. Additionally, the reasons why you considered this particular program at this university should be given a summary form of presentation in the personal statement.
The full development of your career plans, post study goals, relevant experiences, thesis statement and relevant research objectives should also be discussed in the statement of purpose. An even the more in-depth discussion of how the university can help you achieve your ambitions in your professional life will be best discussed in the SOP as well. For the personal statement, it should not be more than 5 paragraphs long. However, that could change depending upon the word count requirement of your essay.
@Holt
Hi Mary, I am really appreciate your view. However, I probably forgot to enclose the terms of the essay to make it clearer. It needs to address such point as follows (1000-1500 words):
Your motivation for taking the MSc programme of your choice.
Why you are interested in TU Delft and what you expect to find here
If the MSc programme of your choice has optional specialisations: which specialisation(s) interest you most, and why?
Describe your hypothetical thesis project; what kind of a project would you prefer if you were free to make a choice? Also briefly explain what you would want to explore in your thesis project. Provide a maximum of three hypothetical thesis topics and elaborate on your particular interests in them.
A brief summary (maximum 250 words) of the thesis work or the final assignment (to be) done for your Bachelor's programme, including information on the credits earned, grade, and full workload.
On which part do I have to put more concern?
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780 Zaki, since this is a very specific application prompt, I believe that you should focus on the possible hypothesis project for your studies. That is because the thesis project is often considered as part of your main reason or interest in a specific field. Did you notice how you are being asked to present at least 3 hypothetical project proposals or thesis topics? The sheer number of questions you are asked to posed and possible research means that the university you are applying to is heavily research based in their educational standard and they expect you to have the skills to properly research and produce results for your proposed projects. That will be represented in the way you develop those 3 hypothetical project proposals. So focus more on that part of the essay. It is obvious that this will be part of the major considerations of your admission to the university. That said, do not neglect to fully represent your thesis work for the final assignment. These two aspects will be considered in combination when it comes time to consider your admission qualifications.
