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'Involved into the best program in America' - Application for FIT transfer.


riclow1213 1 / 1  
Oct 27, 2012   #1
Hi all.
I plan to transfer to Fashion Institution of Technology and I have to write an essay answering this question "What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?" Tell me any suggestion and I really want an honest opinion!!

Everything that I saw and thought always came off as if they were not my ideas, because my life always felt as it if lived in someone else's. But fashion always seemed to have a strange grip over me, and this was the only thing that I seemed take over my interest; it was the only thing that made me want to create something that was only mine. It might have been because my father was a fashion model and owner of his boutique and clothing factory. He loved fashion and was proud of his job, but some people, who did not know much about my environment, felt very strongly that I should not be engaged in anything related to fashion due to South Korea's difficult market. But I am not looking for extreme wealth or success, I am just looking to pursue my dream, because I know that when I study fashion merchandising it brings the best out of me.

When I was a child, my parents worked together, so I often went to my father's clothing factory by bus and spent a lot of time there. During my childhood, our family moved quite frequently, so I did not have many friends. The friends I do remember were the different colored mannequins and friendly factory workers. Instead of listening to lullaby's I grew up hearing the sounds of sewing machines ticking on fabrics, and since my parents were busy with work I read fashion magazines instead of storybooks. I loved it. When others hear my story, sometimes I can see the sympathy in their eyes, but to me, looking back on those years, it was one of the best childhoods I ever had.

Having parents, who were involved with fashion, influenced me deeply even as an adult. When I was in college I volunteered for graduation fashion shows. Even though I was just merely a model, I met with the students and collaborated new ideas for analyzing outfits, fashion trends, and new concepts. I did not have to, but I wanted to be directly involved because if were the audience, I would want to feel emotion while watching a high quality show. During this short time, I truly discovered a new passion for fashion, and was awakened to the fact that if I did not work in the fashion-industry, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. While watching my parents and friends I knew that this industry could be a lonely and cold road, but even while knowing this, my heart races for fashion and there is a constant craving for it.

Knowing what kind of dream I wanted to pursue, I started looking up where I could achieve the best program in America. I looked through some schools but none of them were exactly what I wanted. However, I found Fashion Institution of Technology. FIT is one of the best fashion schools in the world, and I knew that this place would mold me into the person I wanted to become. No other school could compete with the excellent courses, field opportunities and high-qualified professors, and the competition between highly quality students. I would regard my admission to fashion merchandising not only as a great honor but also as a great responsibility and an obligation to work hard. I want to study fashion merchandising at the FIT in order to obtain great experience in the field of marketing and fashion. I deeply believe that the excellence of your program, along with my capabilities and motivation, will help me to attain my objectives.

My time is limited and I do not want to waste it. I believe that having the courage to follow my heart and intuition is one of most important. My heart wants Fashion Institution of Technology and I feel confident that if FIT combines both my passionate of fashion and effort, it will make me the best fashion merchandiser. Also, I want to help my country's fashion-industry through the things I will learn at FIT.


Thanks!!!!
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Oct 27, 2012   #2
Your essay sounds really great, you have definitely written it very well. I have a few suggestions.

Everything that I saw and thought always came off as if they were not my ideas, because my life always felt as it if lived in someone else's.

Can you begin on a more positive note? I would replace this sentence with something inspirational, something that connects to the prompt question.

But fashion always seemed to have a strange grip over me, and this was the only thing that I seemed take over my interest; it was the only thing that made me want to create something that was only mine.

Here is another way that you could say this: "Fashion has always had a grip on me, and my interests have always revolved around it. It is my inspiration for wanting to create something unique, something that is truly mine."

It might have been because my father was a fashion model and owner of his boutique and clothing factory.
I would re-phrase this, because "might" sounds odd here, say how your foundations in the art of fashion were learned by being with family.

He loved fashion and was proud of his job, but some people, who did not know much about my environment, felt very strongly that I should not be engaged in anything related to fashion due to South Korea's difficult market.

This sentence is too long, split it up into 2 shorter sentences.

However, I founddiscovered the Fashion Institution of Technology. FIT is one of the best fashion schools in the world, and I knew that this place would mold me into the person I wanted to become.teach me the skills that I need to be successful.
OP riclow1213 1 / 1  
Oct 27, 2012   #3
Thank you so much!!!


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