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'get you involved and challenge you' - NYU and Hofstra Supplement


Davemedsci 5 / 25  
Dec 31, 2011   #1
Why Hofstra? 500 CHARACTERS!

The motto of Hofstra University is Je maintiendrai (I stand steadfast). If I had to pick one main reason for my decision to apply to Hofstra I would choose their concentration and excellence in providing students with a urge to maintain on their career paths and never give up. What I see in Hofstra is the tools and opportunity's to push my education to a further level, while simultaneously indulging me in a pleasant student body, to allow me to grow individually as well.

Why NYU?

New York City. Almost everybody that I know always told me that I should apply to NYU because of its location in the heart of the most unique cities in the world. Although it may be true, and NYU may be located only an hour's train ride from home, there is one unique aspect about NYU that I find special.

Probably my favorite aspect about NYU is that they are always trying to get you involved and challenge you not only in academic but social aspects. With one of the most diverse study abroad programs in the world, NYU would allow me to learn not only in New York, but in countries all around the world. I feel it's very important to learn new cultures and always branch yourself past your comfort zone of your home city. Learning different cultures and indulging myself in different society's will help advance my social understanding of the world while also providing me with a prestigious education only available at NYU.

Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.

Honestly, if money was infinite, I would probably concentrate and major in a vast amount of topics. I fell education should not be limited to one field of study because true solutions are created when more than one area of expertise is combined with another and is expanded on. To me my most remarkable area of study is computers. We use them every day. Computers are probably the most embedded technology all around the world. I can always look at a computer and my mind would run wild. Why does this work? How can I improve it to work faster? The inquiries were infinite. There was no doubt in my mind after I successfully constructed my own computer, that this was what I wanted to continue doing for the rest of my life. Although I do wish to not only further my understanding of computers but combine the aspect with other areas of study and produce benefits in every aspect of the world. NYU was a prime choice for me with their dual programs of engineering associated with the sister school NYU Poly.

last one isnt finished but tell me what you think

ckpckp1994 8 / 17 2  
Dec 31, 2011   #2
For the first essay, I feel like the city part is a little bit too much. I presume anyone that applies to NYU will say something about the city (At least two of my friends does). So, I would suggest cutting the city part shorter and use that space to talk something else, since you have such a harsh word limit.

To me, the second essay looks good. It conveys your message clearly.

Please check out mine, the urgent one, Thank you and good luck.
OP Davemedsci 5 / 25  
Dec 31, 2011   #3
Thanks and i will check yours out in alittle
OP Davemedsci 5 / 25  
Jan 1, 2012   #4
bumpp , need to send today ! :( please help
calvinwang 3 / 32  
Jan 1, 2012   #5
If I had to pick one main reason for my decision to apply to Hofstra I would chooseMy main reasons for appling to Hofstra are their concentration and excellence in providing students with a urge to maintain on their career paths and never give up.

its a 500 character essay cut out the wordy-ness!

I didnt see any grammitical mistakes for the rest of the Hofstra essay, but overall, that essay is really really weak. You can basically copy paste any college in the name slot and it would apply. A 500 character essay needs to be concise BUT also full of detail. you said ur reason is concentration and excellence, give examples of how it is "concentration and excellence" preferably things that other colleges dont have.

Probably my favorite aspect about NYU is that they are always trying to get you involved and challenge you not only in academic but social aspectsacademically, but also socially .

NYU is singular so technically it should be "it is" and not "they are." Also the end had a grammar mistake

I fell education should not be limited to one field of study

feel

To me, my most remarkable area of study is computers.

this sentence is wordy. remarkable feels like a bad word to use consider using a different one. "area of study" = subject

Although I do wish to not only further my understanding of computers, but also combine the aspect with other areas of study and produce benefits in every aspect of the world.

Anyways, best of luck on NYU and hofstra, i applied to NYU too :o

if you get a chance, read my stony brook essay plz! thx
OP Davemedsci 5 / 25  
Jan 1, 2012   #6
Well to tell the truth Hofstra is my backup and if i dont get accepted i wont cry over it , so to me its not a big deal , but thanks for the input :)

do you think the second NYU essay is too short? or how can i really imporve it to have more of a spark


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