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'Involved in research' - MIT short answer - which department?


Sapphire 8 / 10  
Dec 22, 2008   #1
Hi all. Need some help to proofread the answer. Thanks very much.

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department of program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words)

As one of the leading department in MIT, the Department of Economics offers a wealth of research opportunities for undergraduates. The uniqueness of the department to work closely with many other departments in MIT and to bring technical skills of modern economics into the research program thrive me. I am confident that I would be able to contribute a part in the research program as I am keen in involving in a research. In fact, there are many award achievers and even Nobel Prize winners in the department. It would be my pleasure if I had the opportunity to work with them.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 23, 2008   #2
The following cleans up the grammar for you:

As one of the leading departments in MIT, the Department of Economics offers a wealth of research opportunities for undergraduates. The department is unique in that it works closely with many other departments in MIT, bringing the techniques of modern economics into other research programs, an approach I find particularly appealing. I am confident that I would be able to contribute to the research program as I am keen to become involved in research. Moreover, there are many award winners and even Nobel Prize winners in the department and it would be my pleasure if I had the opportunity to work with them.

It does not, however, fix the main problem of the answer, namely that it is too lacking in specificity. What sort of interdisciplinary work does the department do, exactly? How would you get involved in the research? Which prize winners are you particularly interested in working with? etc.
joke0611 5 / 18  
Dec 23, 2008   #3
It is pretty hard to sum everything up in only a 100 words, but it's possible to add some specificity to it

when you say you want to be involved in research say specifically which part

use a nobel proze winner's name so that MIT knows that you did your research

hopefully that won't make you exceed your limit too much
jusanglee 2 / 2  
Dec 23, 2008   #4
If you could be more concise on other things and specify on more important stuff like the research. That would probably make 100 words
OP Sapphire 8 / 10  
Dec 24, 2008   #5
Thanks for the comment. Will make it more specific. :)


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