The title pretty much states it all. I'm submitting the Brown Supplement soon, so opinions, advice, and grammar fixes are much appreciated. :] Please help me with mine, and I'll help with yours as soon as possible.
What is one item you never leave the house without? Apart from the usual keys, wallet, and phone, I never leave home without my pink iPod. Ever since I first laid my hands on its sleek frame, my iPod and I have become inseparable. It has traveled with me to two continents, three countries, and countless cities. Now, you might be wondering why a device no bigger than a credit card could be of such importance to me. From volunteering as a swimming instructor to practicing for speech competitions, my iPod gives me a break from my hectic schedule. In between school, piano lessons, and helping my mother grade her science papers, I listen to music to get away from life. Once I put on my earphones, I drown in a world full of beats, rhythm, and lyrics. For ten minutes, I am unaware of the events occurring around me and the only thing I focus on is the forceful voice of Christina Aguilera. Admittedly, I also carry my iPod in my pocket at all times because of my slightly fanciful nature. I believe every moment in life deserves a soundtrack. Playing songs during occasions helps me to remember the event. Have you ever noticed that songs trigger certain memories? During my trip to Stanford for the Junior Statesmen of America summer program, "Party Rock Anthem" was played almost every day. Now every time I hear that song, I remember the weekend dances outside the dormitory. I also like to think of my portable media player as a type of autobiography. What songs I listen to give a brief description of my personality. The fact that I listen to French music shows my interest in other countries' culture. You can also tell that I am lively person by the number of times I have listened to "Moves Like Jagger." My iPod does not just play eight hundred of my favorite songs; it carries precious memories with each song, and provides me with a chance to escape into a land of rhythm and blues and all that jazz. Now put on my earphones and hear the world from my perspective.
Personal yet sophisticated. Good job on adding the "stanford and piano lessons" part that can let the schools really get to know you. I would suggest to add more details in the "french music" part. Don't let them think that because you like french music equals you love foreign countries' culture. You can add in something like "the syntax and pronunciation trigger my interest for foreign cultures".
Don't get me wrong, i love the essay, but a bit more details at the end can make the essay stronger. Good luck!
