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UC Prompt #1 Being Iranian-American


mayce 2 / 3  
Aug 6, 2012   #1
Hey Guys so, Prompt #1 Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

**I am not very confident in my writing so please dont be afraid to critique harshly! I really need it lol

Growing up with Iranian born parents, I have learned to accept my family and my heritage. When asked what nationality I am, I proudly and confidently respond, " Iranian". Being an Iranian-American citizen I am honored to say my heritage has molded who I am as a person in many ways.

Every Saturday for 10 years my mom would take me to Oakland to the Islamic Center to teach farsi and the culture of Iran to young kids like me. I naturally picked up farsi as my second language and soon at the age of six I became completely fluent. Throughout my life I have been involved with this Islamic Center with my mother. Ever since the start of high school I volunteer, every Saturday at the very same Islamic Center and help kids fathom who they are and to be proud of what they represent.

With that being said, being a muslim and Iranian-American in our society today can be very ignominious. With countless controversies in the news everyday about what a muslim man said or did or what new threat Iran had dished out. Life as you can imagine was very difficult in the sense that I could not stop others from judging me or my heritage. Over the years I have developed a thick skin towards people who wish not to think before they speak. Being labeled as a "terrorist" by kids who were apparently my 'friends' to me was the hardest part. I could deal with the look kids/parents/teachers gave me when I told them I am muslim. However, to have your friends of 11 years judge and label you as if you were some kind of alien that is something I could not deal with.

Just because I could not stop their judging did not mean I couldn't try. Sophmore more year of high school, was emotionally the worst year of my highschool career. It was in that year where a light went off in my head, create a club! Despite stereotype that clubs were "lame" I was determined to make a club in an attempt to explain my heritage/religion as long with others.

That club was, R.I.C.E, religions in complete equality. When petitioning for the club to be approved many students and even teachers told me that I was delusional. Soon word spread about my club and I had more than enough signatures for a club. Whether the club was a success or not it made no difference to me. I stood out and put myself on the line to make this idea a real life club.

The Culture of Iran and religion of Islam have molded me into the young man I am today. Before every varsity soccer game I stand with the palms of hands facing towards me as if I am reading the Quran, and pray. My fellow teammates realize that this is my time of serenity and not only understand why but accept it.

In the future, as an aspiring International Buisness major I would like to incorporate my Iranian heritage to my line of work. With the hopes of bringing awareness to other Iranian and muslim americans.
tracked89 1 / 11  
Aug 8, 2012   #2
I rather like your essay. Just remember that some proper nouns (Farsi, Muslim, etc.) need to be capitalized. You also have another 50 or so words you can fit under the word limit, so I would try to include some more details (you said that life was difficult, can you expand? did students label you as a "terrorist"?). Normally I wouldn't suggest adding words for the sake of it, but I would like to know you even better.
OP mayce 2 / 3  
Aug 8, 2012   #3
thanks for the help and input! :)
livlansinger - / 2  
Aug 8, 2012   #4
I think this essay is good and shows emotion. One of my suggestions would be to expand upon how people judged you and how it made you feel. Also, some of the grammar is a little off, but I would be happy to help with that, too.
OP mayce 2 / 3  
Aug 8, 2012   #5
yea grammar is one of the most difficult things for me in my writing, i would love your help!...and your essay, wow! it was so good!!


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