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Irrational exuberance in metropolis; UW-MADISON - Something went unnoticed

htg100 1 / -  
Jan 11, 2013   #1
Consider something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you

As you see, I am not a native speaker, I am not sure whether I used words properly. so please give me advice about words. Also does I show what admission offices want to see from the essay? Love to see any adivce:)

In China, rapid economic growth brings the irrational exuberance in metropolis such as Beijing and Shanghai. While, such prosperity is by no means an equivalent of co-prosperity or development of personal quality. The rich-poor wealth gap is being wider and wider, and, even worse, individuals are more like to live in an egotistic lifestyle rather than help the underprivileged people. The poor are lost in the shuffle.

When I was in my junior high school, an accidental experience that I met with a beggar "baptized" me and became the beginning of my random act of kindness. Once after taking class, I walked out of school gate and turned left to pedestrian way. Suddenly I found that walkers in front of me all seemed to move right to avoid an obstacle. I went near enough to see clearly, it was an old beggar sitting just on the road, around sixty years old. He, with shabby rags, was begging for some money by kowtow for numerous times toward pedestrians. His brown parchment-like skin was drawn tightly by projecting bone, and silver hair wavered like weeds in wind. This poor man was making his effort to gain some coins. However, passing quickly beside him, no one had once noticed him, or they just turned a blind eye toward the unprivileged man. Finally, I gave him 20 Yuan in my pocket, hopping that he could have a better supper. I had a sad feeling that I was "unorthodox" among people because not I was the only one giving money, but also although our country propagates to help the needy with great enthusiasm, people with such idea in mind are few and far between.

The poor gives me a huge shock. I eager to find impressive stories about them on the internet, search pictures that can show their real lives and denote money and clothes to clarity. While I have no idea about where awareness of people is, I strong believe that I am able to become a factor to draw social attention to the poor people by putting my forth effort.That is the reason I used half of my winter vacation to teach at a hope school in Shanxi province as a volunteering teacher. And that is also the reason I wrote a letter to a foundation and facilitated the building of liberal in my hometown. They also give me a goal that I can pursue in my life. Helping poor people is the best way to turn my life to be valuable. Roses given, fragrance in hand.

Having the opportunity to study oversea, maybe I can possess better chance to help unprivileged people. I am sure that I am able to stick to my goal and make those unnoticed people to be noticed!

Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Jan 11, 2013   #2
I got that you are a very observant, conscientious, and compassionate person. I would like some more past and future, however. Was that the first time you had seen a poor person? What made you stop and take notice instead of passing him by? I find it hard to believe that one encounter with a poor person made you so passionate about poverty.

Other than that, good job, and good luck!

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