I irritated everyone around me; UC - world you come from

I am in desperate need of help, and i would be so grateful for any constructive criticism
Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Growing up I never asked many questions, I took things as they are or rather how they were said to me. As a child I never felt like I was entitled to my own opinions so I always tended to agree with those of my parents or teachers. As I grew I began to ask more and more questions, to the point where I irritated everyone around me. I began to develop my own opinions, I became the nightmare of any parent: an over opinionated teenager with too much time on her hands. My opinions soon began to take over my life, my views became so strong that I could find something morally wrong in everything and anything. As my opinions grew so did my need for knowledge, I itched to know what was happening, I needed the facts and the statistics.

One of the biggest examples of this was my dive into the treacherous world of feminism. I feel like I have always been a feminist at heart. I have always respected myself and others as strong women; I have always been opposed to things such as double standards and sexism but I had never had the urge to know more. The urge to keep up with the latest current events and get involved. I suppose my sophomore English teacher bares the blame, a simple assignment became an odyssey to hunt down all the misogynistic aspects of society. My need for equality became vital and widespread. I started to realize just how common social inequality was in our society and I became angry, outraged.

I have come to realize that simply knowing what is happening is not enough for me; I need to know why things are happening. My need for knowledge exceeds the surface; I want to know what people are thinking and what causes them to think a certain way. Societal standards force everyone to put up a front but everyone has a backstory, behind every person there is a reason for their behavior, or more importantly a reason for their thoughts. I feel that the only way to solve the burning social issues I feel so passionately about is to understand why people think a certain way and what these thoughts cause them to do. This is why my dream is to become a psychologist and to be able not only to help individuals but entire communities.

try to pay more attention with comma, in my opinion, you should give comma after 'as a child' this will make the readers confuse or hard to understand your essay,


you say 'one' in the beginning of this sentence, but why you put 's' in the word 'examples' which means 'more than one example'

Ok, you take a good entrance. However, the last sentence about is somewhat contradictory. This confusion occurs due to your phrases "Growing up" and "As I grew". I feel it's better you attend to that.


Well, you need to connect how your world influenced you to develop this character. It's not properly conveyed.