michalektaylor 1 / - Sep 7, 2018 #1Illinois State University Personal StatementPlease help! I would really appreciate it. The prompt was to state why ISU is fit for your educational goals and to identify and explain your academic strengths and weaknesses.I would have to admit, I have visited plenty of colleges but no other college stood out to me like Illinois State University. The second I stepped foot on campus I knew that Illinois State University is where I am meant to go. I fell in love with the campus of course, but also all the academic opportunities I would be exposed to. For my major Business Management minoring in Marketing, I had a lot of school options. After looking deeper into each school Illinois State University stood out the most.I feel as though ISU would provide all the educational support and guidance I need to start the next chapter of my life. With ISU's prestige standards and knowledgeable professors I feel as though I would get the support needed to make me successful in my career. I feel as though ISU would be the perfect place for me to grow as a student and as a person. The academic curriculum at ISU is not easy, but that is one of the many reasons I was drawn to the school. It will push me to do my very best, and that I feel is one of ISU's best qualities.When I was ten years old my moms work had a bring your kid to work day. Her job as a marketer for Royal Canin fascinated me even that young. While all the other kids were off doing the activities they had planned for us, I prefered to watch my mom work. Before watching her at work I didn't really think business marketing was that important. As I grew up I became more aware of what goes into being a business marketer. Having my mom there to explain the field to me has really helped me become acquainted with the work I would be expecting with this major. That is why I am looking forward to Illinois State University because it will further my knowledge and give me the teaching and experiences I will need to be prepared and successful after college.In school I have always been a hard worker. I feel as though school is very important and slacking off is one of the worst things you can do. Along with being a hard worker, I am also a leader. In group projects or discussions I am always first to take the lead. My weakness academically is that school has never come easy to me. I feel as though I have to work twice as hard as most students to keep my grades up and succeed in school. Although it is a weakness it fuels my biggest strength. Not having school come easy to me has really motivated me to work even harder in order to accomplish my academic goals. That is why ISU made the biggest impact on me. It will push me to work hard to achieve my goals academically.I am so grateful I found a school like Illinois State University that I fell in love with. I am so excited to have the opportunity to call ISU's campus home. I am looking forward to all the amazing life long memories ISU will help me make and the person it will help me become. I cannot wait to become a Redbird!
hoa123 2 / 2 Sep 7, 2018 #2hi, I think it is best to write in a way that makes the reader feels like you're a leader, instead of saying it straightforwardly, and I think that you should add more good points that would attract the reader, and instead of saying this school is good,.. why don't you give more that makes the reader feel that because of what you do is so outstanding, they should accept you to their school.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15153 4857 Sep 8, 2018 #3Taylor, your essay is nowhere near what the prompt is asking you to explain. You do not have any academic goals listed in this essay. Only the fanciful thoughts of an ambitious person. You are not listing any academic strengths and weaknesses either. Only a mention of how your mother influenced your career decision. The total essay needs to be deleted and a new one made in its place.The reviewer doesn't carea bout how you felt when he set foot in the university. What he cares about is your current academic performance and how it fits with the demands of an ISU education upon a student. Do you think you meet the requirements of the university? If so, why and how? These will be the strengths of your academic core.As a business major, you should explain what you believe your weaknesses are. You can base these weaknesses on your observations of your mother's strength as a business person if you wish. Or perhaps you are not very good when it comes to math or business theories? Something that shows that you will be working hard at improving as a student will work. Regardless of the subject as long as it is academic in focus.Then you should go on to explain why you feel that despite these weaknesses, you will still be a good academic fit for the university. Base your statement on the core subjects you will be taking and how you hope to grow as a student there owing the training you will be receiving. No generic references that the reviewer must have heard over a million times by now. Be specific about the courses you are interested in and why.The essay prompt requires you to show a familiarity with the major you have chosen, the minor you will be studying and the connected academic programs at the university. A serious applicant will know exactly what kind of academic career you will be having as an ISU student and that, is what you have to highlight in this essay.