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IVEY AEO ESSAY (Character in Leadership)


yellowjello123 2 / 3  
Jan 14, 2020   #1
Hey guys, it is a little late considering the due date is tomorrow, but I would appreciate any suggestions or comments. Thanks!

Essay #1 Character in leadership matters. At Ivey, character is defined as an amalgam of virtues, values and certain traits. Character speaks to who a person is rather than what they are able to do. Some would say the virtues of courage, humility and humanity are equally as important as the virtues of accountability, drive and integrity. Do you think this is true? Relate your answer to your experiences in the activities you've included as part of your application.

What is a leader? And how can I become one?



I struggled to find the answer as I looked on some of my grade 9 peers who have become leaders in the school and community. I observed their abilities from afar in awe; the elaborate plans they were able to conceive, the compelling and confident voices they spoke with, and the numerous team accomplishments they had achieved. Yet, I also witnessed times, where despite the abilities of the leader, the group ultimately fails to reach their goals. I was confused. I wanted to know the secret standing between leaders who succeeded and failed. My search for the answer continued as I progressed through high school. Slowly learning from my experiences in team settings, I recognized that while the capabilities of the leader is intrinsic to succeeding, character is also an important element of leadership⁠-it is how we interact with the world around us. Ultimately, it is the character that influences us to make the type of decisions that we make. When viewing character as a whole, I think it is true that the virtues of courage, humility and humanity are just as necessary to the conception of leadership as other virtues, like drive and integrity. They are all equal in importance because they work together-a leader cannot be successful if they think some virtues are greater than others.

One of my greatest learning experiences in becoming a leader would come from working part-time at a restaurant. My executive positions in school and community extracurriculars may have allowed me to demonstrate my strengths in characteristics like courage and initiative, but they never taught me the value of becoming a more rounded leader. Unfortunately, I learned it the hard way⁠-I lacked patience in my character, leading to a reckless decision that affected one of my team's success. The workplace taught me otherwise. Everyshift, my colleagues inspire me to work with a sense of responsibility. I admired their bravery; they would always greet me with a cheerful smile, preserving through the financial and emotional struggles they had at home. In my numerous conversations with colleagues and customers, one common theme I've discovered is: everyone is just trying their best. What an empowering thought! When I get frustrated at a low tip, or impatient with the new busboy-in-training who keeps on making the same mistakes, I try to be as empathetic as possible knowing that they are trying their best. My time at the restaurant has helped me develop virtues of compassion and humility, components of leadership that are sometimes overlooked, but necessary for success.

I believe character is developed through different opportunities and experiences. Becoming a leader is a lifelong journey! I look forward to implementing my definition of leadership at Western Ivey, where I will continue to develop my character and seek to become a better leader. While the perfect leader does not exist, the pursuit of becoming one certainly does.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Jan 15, 2020   #2
The opening paragraph doesn't hold the interest of the reader. Open immediately with the relevant discussion instead. In this instance, that starts in the second paragraph. Open immediately with the relevant discussion instead. In this instance, that starts in the second paragraph. The restaurant work workplace setting is one that allows you to practice all of the listed virtues in the essay. That means that through your various work actions, participation, and decisions, you will be able to fully represent your related situations and actions along with a well developed discussion based on the given parameters. Then pick another situation, an academic or extra curricular one. Say your membership in a school club or community organization that gave you the opportunity to act as a leader. Aim to discuss a different set of virtues from the one you exhibited as a restaurant employee. . Revise that paragraph to become your opening statement and then add to the information accordingly.
OP yellowjello123 2 / 3  
Jan 31, 2020   #3
Merged:

Queen's Commerce Supplementary - "customers feel at home"



Hey guys, any advice is appreciated :)

Choose one extracurricular activity or one employment opportunity you have listed above. In 300 words, or fewer, describe the impact of this experience and the greatest learning outcome for you.

"Make the customers feel at home", said my team with a large grin on their faces.

At Miga, we are more than just a group of co-workers. We may work towards a monetary goal, but we have also found purpose in our unity as a team. Working at the restaurant has become one of my greatest learning experiences, where I gained important values that I would have otherwise not been able to in my other extracurriculars.

Every shift, my colleagues inspire me to work with a sense of responsibility. I admired their bravery; they would always greet me with a cheerful smile, preserving through the financial and emotional struggles they had at home. In my numerous conversations with colleagues and customers, one common theme I've discovered is: everyone is just trying their best. What an empowering thought! When I get frustrated at a low tip, or impatient with the new hire who keeps on making the same mistakes, I try to be as empathetic as possible knowing that they are trying their best. When I see that my co-workers are tired after long shifts, I offer to help out with their tables. When the restuarant is vacant, I make sure to seat new customers near the back, so that the cold outside wind does not blow past them. It is through these little actions that I can show my appreciation to them as they have similarly done for me. My time at Miga has helped me develop virtues of compassion and humility, characteristics that are sometimes overlooked, but necessary for success. I am able to apply what I have learned to other parts of my life, becoming both a better teammate and leader.

In our restaurant, there is beauty in the way we work with each other. It is a little chaotic. It is a little messy. But this is where we have made our second home.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Feb 1, 2020   #4
Well, this is certainly a very reflective essay response. You actually managed to respond to the prompt in a manner that shows you took the time to truly analyze an activity that you actively participate in. However, I feel like the mantra at the start is a little overkill. It also loses its relevance because your response evenly focuses on client and team relationships. Honestly, I believe that the essay works well even without the mantra at the start. Starting the essay from the second paragraph works just as well, if not better because you get directly to the point instead of wasting space with filler sentences. The mantra kind of falls under that classification, a word filler. The third paragraph is running a bit long, you might want to consider cutting it up a bit so that the reviewer will find it simpler to read and keep track of what you are talking about. Overall though, it's a very well developed response that requires slight editing to become even better.


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