me before muttering any complaints about being late.
I more than agree that the name can be misleading to some
1/3 of your essay talks about walking up to take the opportunity. shows your nervousness...but why do that?
Then, I suddenly realized that even disabled person like Jane knew how to express a variety of emotions like I could or maybe sometimes better. Whether I forgot it or never knew it at all, this knowledge knocked me down, giving me a new kind of pain, a feeling of shame that overwhelmed me like a wave which I could not dare escape.
again, wordy. this however, should be your focus. the thing that's most important about this experience yea?
I felt that those smiles were mocking my worthless frown. I thought that the smiles were very contagious, since I could not help but to hope to see more of them.
seems negative. along with a few other instances, it doesnt show you at your best. ask yourself if you would tell your college that you were sad, that you were not quick to act upon opportunities even when you're at their door, that you are nervous around children, that you lacked the nerve to be friendly at first. some are good, too much makes you seems indifferent.
Interesting conclusion. It's all a blur...maybe mention that despite your unwillingness to go, you find time to smile because you saw everyone else smiling...jk...write what is true, but what reflects the better side of yourself. I don't think I pity your inaction, though it's understandable, but more +, less -